"She has feline leukemia," joked McHale.
"And anal worms," grimaced Bell.
"Was it painful?" McHale asked.
"No," she replied, "but it was very itchy."
Bell first learned about the infamous infection when she found out her daughter's preschool had removed all of their carpets and sent them out to be cleaned. Why? Pinworms.
She immediately went home to Google the highly contageous infection and discovered that her 3-year-old daughter, Delta, had them.
"You have to monitor, and you have to look in their poop," the mother of two told the audience. "Sure enough, I wiped and saw a little white worm. I know ... she’s really gross—my daughter, not the worm. The worm was gross, too."
Celebrity kids: They're just like ours!
But the infestation didn't stop there. Later that day, Bell encountered a similar itch of her own in an undisclosed location and the entire family was forced to celebrate with a "shot of chalky nonsense" from the drugstore.
I know ... she’s really gross—my daughter, not the worm.
"We all did it [the treatment], but I don’t think anyone got it but me and Delta," she said before leaving the stage and shaking Joel's hand, laughing as though she may still be contagious.
Guess what? McHale may want to do some research of his own because The Daily Mail shared an Instagram story posted by Bell, claiming that Delta's intruders had returned.
"I just want to explain to you what I'm looking at right now," she said in a low voice. "It's a pile of sh-t, literally, and at the top of it ... is a little white pinworm."
"I thought we had rid ourselves of these," she sighed. "And the irony is so deep because I did the Joel McHale show two weeks ago. We had pinworms three weeks ago—and the day after I post it, I find another worm."
Bell then went on a brief rant: "Like, are they following me? I mean, are they listening through my phone just waiting to appear when I least expect it? Or do you have to dose twice for pinworms?"
The answer is yes. You do have to dose twice, "because I looked it up and apparently they can stick around," she added.
Though the actress claims that her daughter is the only infected family member right now, she promises to keep us informed of any changes.
"Now I don't currently have pinworms again, I don't think," she said, "but you bet your bottom dollar, I'll keep you updated on my symptoms."
At the end of the video, Bell shared a brief audio clip of Delta informing her of the illness.
“I have worms in my butt and they are kind of itching," Delta said.
Mom’s advice: “OK. Don't itch it, though.”
Apparently, those are words to live by when you’ve got sh-t to deal with.