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My Wife and I Were Pregnant at the Same Time

Emily Kehe and Kate Lazegui have quite a pregnancy story to share. The couple welcomed their two sons after both women gave birth four days apart.

"We've been married only two years, but I think this has made us closer faster and more intimately than couples married far longer," Kate told New York Magazine. "The most important thing we've mastered is allowing only one of us to freak out at a time."

Transitioning from singles in love, to a married couple and then to being pregnant—together—has rocked the couple's world. They knew they wanted to raise a family together but opted to wait until after they were married because they both said they wanted to do things traditionally, at least to begin with.

Fertility clinics were their first choice and they went in for a consultation, curious to see how the process would add to their lives. The doctors expected that Emily, younger than Kate by three years, would be the one who would undergo intra-uterine insemination but Kate surprised Emily and the doctors when she shared that she wanted to try to conceive as well.

"Just because I hadn't talked about it before doesn't mean that I didn't feel it," Kate said. "I just sort of never—it had never been presented as a decision I had to make. But when push came to shove, I really worried that I might regret not trying."

During their search for a sperm donor they spent a romantic evening cradling their laptop while sipping glasses of wine. As they perused profiles one caught their eye and his details were equally impressive.

They nicknamed the donor "Keanu Reeves," describing him as a cute kid—half Asian, half Caucasian with an affinity for writing poetry. They decided that he would be the one, spending more than $10,000 on his sperm.

After six months of being inseminated, Kate had no luck and her insurance had run out. She decided to give in-vitro insemination just one try, paying for it out of her own pocket. Supporting the couple's determination, their doctor suggested that Emily begin her insemination process, since it might take a while for her to get pregnant.

To their surprise, Emily became pregnant on the first try. While they were both excited, Kate admits she was a bit jealous. Since Kate was in the midst of her IVF treatments, they continued, since the doctor said the odds of them being pregnant at the same time were extremely low.

"I was only two weeks pregnant—anything could have happened. I could have had a miscarriage. Who knows?" Emily offered.

Just three weeks after Emily learned that he was pregnant, Kate was shocked to learn that the IVF had worked and she was pregnant as well.

The pair began a dual pregnancy that didn't allow for either of them to experience the extra attention that being pregnant often affords.

"The pro and con of having your wife, another woman, go through pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood in tandem with you is that you can't help but compare," Kate told New York Magazine. "She loved being pregnant, and I didn't enjoy any of it. The whole pregnancy, I had way more complications. I had gestational diabetes. I was worried. I was anxious. I had to watch my diet. I had an exercise regimen."

The woes of carrying a child were not lost on this duo but they felt that it was silly to complain since they were both going through it together.

"You complain because you want sympathy. You want the person to be like, 'Oh, baby, I'll take care of you.' We couldn't do that. There was no energy left to be sympathetic," Kate shared. "The pros of it were that we both felt the same things, we had someone who understood, but there was no sympathy. There was empathy but no sympathy. There was no 'Awww, honey. Sit down and let me rub your feet.' Because, fuck, I have to rub my own feet, too."

Ten days past her due date, Emily was in the delivery room requesting an epidural. After only 8 pushes, their son Reid was born.

Four days later, it was Kate's turn. Her delivery was much more arduous.

"My labor was a lot harder and it required so much more pushing and breathing and all this stuff that she wasn't totally able to help me with because she had just given birth," Kate recalled. "At one point during the delivery, I just said, 'Can you just talk to me and step aside and let my sister be the one to help me?' She felt sort of hurt, I think."

Kate pushed through emotional and physical complications and gave birth to their son, Eddie.

The couple had made it past their introduction to motherhood. They were now on their way to facing the anxieties that accompany raising a family together.

"We were past all of that unknown stuff," Emily shared. "There were months and months and months of not knowing what would happen. And when it was over, it sort of didn't matter how it happened. It was over and we had healthy babies. We made it."

Photo via New York Magazine

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