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Emily Kehe and Kate Lazegui have quite a pregnancy story to share. The couple welcomed their two sons after both women gave birth four days apart.
"We've been married only two years, but I
think this has made us closer faster and more intimately than couples married
far longer," Kate told New York Magazine. "The most important thing we've mastered
is allowing only one of us to freak out at a time."
Transitioning from singles in love, to a married couple and then to being pregnant—together—has rocked the couple's world. They knew they wanted to raise a family together but opted to wait until after they were married because they both said they wanted to do
things traditionally, at least to begin with.
Fertility clinics were their first choice and
they went in for a consultation, curious to see how the process would add to
their lives. The doctors expected that Emily, younger than Kate by
three years, would be the one who would undergo intra-uterine insemination but Kate
surprised Emily and the doctors when she shared that she wanted to try to conceive as well.
"Just because I hadn't talked about it before
doesn't mean that I didn't feel it," Kate said. "I just sort of never—it had
never been presented as a decision I had to make. But when push came to shove,
I really worried that I might regret not trying."
During their search for a sperm donor they
spent a romantic evening cradling their laptop while sipping glasses of wine.
As they perused profiles one caught their eye and his details were equally
They nicknamed the donor "Keanu Reeves," describing him as a cute kid—half Asian, half Caucasian with an affinity for
writing poetry. They decided that he would be the one, spending more than
$10,000 on his sperm.
After six months of being inseminated, Kate
had no luck and her insurance had run out. She decided to give in-vitro
insemination just one try, paying for it out of her own pocket. Supporting the couple's determination, their doctor
suggested that Emily begin her insemination process, since it might take a while
for her to get pregnant.
To their surprise, Emily became pregnant on
the first try. While they were both excited, Kate admits she was a bit
jealous. Since Kate was in the midst of her IVF treatments, they continued, since the doctor said the odds of them being pregnant at the same time were
"I was only two weeks pregnant—anything
could have happened. I could have had a miscarriage. Who knows?" Emily
Just three weeks after Emily learned that he
was pregnant, Kate was shocked to learn that the IVF had worked and she was
pregnant as well.
The pair began a dual pregnancy that didn't
allow for either of them to experience the extra attention that
being pregnant often affords.
"The pro and con of having your wife, another
woman, go through pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood in tandem with you is that
you can't help but compare," Kate told New York Magazine. "She loved being pregnant,
and I didn't enjoy any of it. The whole pregnancy, I had way more complications.
I had gestational diabetes. I was worried. I was anxious. I had to watch my
diet. I had an exercise regimen."
The woes of carrying a child were not lost on
this duo but they felt that it was silly to complain since they were both going
through it together.
"You complain because you want sympathy. You
want the person to be like, 'Oh, baby, I'll take care of you.' We couldn't do
that. There was no energy left to be sympathetic," Kate shared. "The pros of it
were that we both felt the same things, we had someone who understood, but
there was no sympathy. There was empathy but no sympathy. There was no 'Awww,
honey. Sit down and let me rub your feet.' Because, fuck, I have to rub my own
past her due date, Emily was in the delivery room requesting an epidural. After
only 8 pushes, their son Reid was born.
later, it was Kate's turn. Her delivery was much more arduous.
"My labor was a lot harder and it required so
much more pushing and breathing and all this stuff that she wasn't totally able
to help me with because she had just given birth," Kate recalled. "At one point
during the delivery, I just said, 'Can you just talk to me and step aside and
let my sister be the one to help me?' She felt sort of hurt, I think."
Kate pushed through emotional and physical
complications and gave birth to their son, Eddie.
The couple had made it past their introduction
to motherhood. They were now on their way to facing the anxieties that
accompany raising a family together.
"We were past all of that unknown stuff," Emily
shared. "There were months and months and months of not knowing what would
happen. And when it was over, it sort of didn't matter how it happened. It was
over and we had healthy babies. We made it."