Like most new moms, Lynn Wojton had a plan when it came to how she would feed her newborn daughter — and she intended to stick to it. As Wojton recently told The New York Post, she prefers to breastfeed over giving formula, and her temporary live-in doula, Marcia Chase-Marshall, knew this. That's why the New York City mom says she was shocked to learn the caretaker had secretly given her baby formula a few days after she was born.
According to the lawsuit Wojton just filed with the Manhattan Supreme Court, she says she breastfed her daughter Wilder the first two nights after she returned home from the hospital in September. The agreement, said Wojton, was that the baby nurse — who slept in the same room as Wilder during those first nights at home — would wake the new mom whenever the newborn cried for a feeding.
But on the third night, Chase-Marshall didn't wake the new mom. Wojton confronted her — and that's when the doula allegedly confessed to feeding her formula instead.
Needless to say, the new mom was pissed. "I was very upset," Wojton told The Post. “This is not what I wanted — this is not what I want — for my baby."
Wojton, who's a registered nurse, said she planned to exclusively breastfeed her baby because she believes it is the healthiest, most natural option. So, when she learned what had happened, it triggered a lot of emotions in her.
"I cried for an hour, honestly," she shared.
The story has (rather unsurprisingly) sparked a lot of opinions across Facebook as it continues to get shared. Many sided with the mom and shook their heads at the doula, who clearly wasn't doing her job.
"As a nanny, I feed the baby what the parents tell me to feed the baby, regardless of my opinion," wrote one Facebook user.
"I think the fact that the doula was paid $4,200 for the month's work would mean she should be bending over backwards to make sure all was according to her employer's specifications," wrote another. "Whether you agree with them or not! End of [story]."
During the confrontation, Wojton claims Chase-Marshall said she defied the mother's wishes because she believed formula was best for the baby. (Is your head exploding yet? Just keep reading.)
The doula then apparently switched stories soon after, then saying she fed the baby formula merely because "it was less work and she wanted extra sleep."
“I have nothing to say,” Chase-Marshall later told The Post — though the same can't be said for the rest of the internet since this story has started making the rounds.
But because this is the Internet and we can't have nice things, there are also lots of judgy comments swirling about the mom. Some rolled their eyes, thinking the mom's outrage at the situation was mostly tied to formula shaming.
"Oh no," wrote one user. "Not formula, intended for babies. What a terrible person. Good Lord. Get over it people."
Others decided to throw some unwarranted shade at the fact that the new mom dared to hire a night nurse for her baby's first weeks.
"This wouldn't have happened if she took care of her own baby," wrote one person.
"She could have gotten her butt out of bed on her own like the rest of us do," added another. Sigh.
The formula debate wasn't the only confrontation the pair had, though. Wojton says they sparred over diaper changes and bath time, too.
“If I didn’t change the diaper the way she thought was best, she would criticize me the whole time,” Wojton said. “It makes you second-guess yourself. You’re a new mother and this is all very new.”
It's hard to imagine hiring someone to help you take care of your baby in those daunting first weeks as a mother, and immediately feeling criticized for everything you do, and the way you do it.
That's probably why, even six months later, Wojton still gets worked up when she thinks about what happened.
"I'm in a good place now," Wojton shared, "but I still get upset."
The Post reports that Chase-Marshall took off immediately after the formula debacle — and never returned any of the $4,200 she was paid. Wojton is now seeking $10,000 in damages in her suit and hopes to put the event behind her.
"Your instincts do kick in,” Wojton told The Post, looking back on the incident. “It was the last straw, the way she was behaving and the way she was speaking to me.”
Regardless of where you stand on the debate, she's right — every mom has the right to raise her child the way she believes is best. If your philosophies don't mesh with the people you're bringing in to help with your child ... well, then parting ways is probably for the best.
This post was originally published on Mom.me sister site CafeMom.