The Funniest Parenting Tweets This Week: January 25-29

With somber news about topics like the Zika virus and the duct tape challenge going around, we could all use a laugh this week. Thank God for hilariously sleep-deprived and punchy parents who take to the Twitterverse to air their child-related grievances and lift us all up.
1. There's still not a Barbie for everyone
What about a Barbie who drinks 8 coffees a day while wandering the house with a blanket draped over her shoulders? I feel unrepresented.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 29, 2016
2. Wild and free and loving it
If going braless to drop my kid off at school is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
— Housy Wife (@wife_housy) January 28, 2015
3. Don't come back unless you've got wine.
Him: "I should do something productive" Me: "Like open wine?" H: "No, like-" M: "Like pour me wine?" H: "No, I-" M: "Like bring me wine?" H:
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) January 28, 2016
4. The grass is always greener...
The kids and I are waiting at our gate by a man who is sleeping so I sat next to him and whispered softly in his ear "please trade me lives"
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) January 28, 2016
5. This mom is ALL OF US
A haiku about my day: Whine whine whine whine whine. Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine. Wine, red and white, both.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) January 27, 2016
6. The Dad Diet
Today's lunch is a collection of all the sandwich crusts my son hasn't eaten over the past two weeks.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 28, 2016
7. Well that's one way...
What's your diet secret? My toddler takes all my food out of my hand and yells, "mine!" while sprinting away from me.
— EmRose24 (@rose24_em) January 26, 2016
8. TRUTH
Mother Nature made them cute as babies so you would take care of them. She made them obnoxious as teenagers so you'd let them leave.
— Ɠıཞɩ Ơŋ ɬą℘ąʂ (@girlontapas) January 28, 2016
9. Sweet nothings
"You don't need makeup to look beautiful," my husband said and I sat stunned ... "more like a mask," he added and we laughed and laughed.
— Darlin' Darla (@Darlainky) January 27, 2016
10. Lesson of the day: NEVER give up
7: Come see what I made. M: Let me finish what I'm doing, then I will. 7: How about I stand here & tell you all about it until you give up.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 26, 2016