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Twitter Melts Down Over Anatomically Correct Horse Toy

via @atbobb
Photograph by Twitter

One corner of Twitter is melting down this week.

And it's in a way that has nothing to do with presidents-elect and their favorite form of policy discussions.

No, the Tweet storm in question is thanks to a post from Bob Velcro which depicted the genital phase of psychosexual development on his daughter's toy horse. Thanks to a Canadian toy company, kids can finally get a glimpse of what Mr. Ed was packing all along.

Sidenote: It's smaller than anyone ever imagined.

Battat, the toy company that (reportedly) branded the belly of the beast, has been designing and marketing high-quality toys for more than 40 years and, from the looks of their website, they stand behind their vision.

"Our toy brands have always had educational value. Whether didactic or nurturing, they invite kids into a world where the imagination forms the foundation for learning in creative, fun, and empowering ways."

It didn't take long before @atbobb's tweet took a viral plunge toward the dark side of the barnyard. As expected, anyone with an inkling of comedic timing on Twitter threw in their 2 cents via 140 characters or less—including the man who started it all.

Ahem, LANGUAGE, @atbobb!

It looks like this guy ought to start a pony dating service.

@jordivanderoord via Twitter

A hint of sarcasm all the way from Belgium.

Translation: World problem and not global problems. Careful about what I write.

Perhaps size DOES matter.

Turkeys like meat parties, too.

@patrixbanx via Twitter

Children three and under should not lick the toy.

That horse has no idea.

It's anarchy!

@str8carpen via Twitter

The irony burns.

Should we be scared of this response?

Everyone's a critic.

That's probably a good idea.

Shared on Reddit back in 2014.

Photograph by Reddit

Surely, this isn’t the only four-legged creature packing a little heat (no pun). What about Grandma's Mutant Ninja Turtles?

@ShawnSinger1012 via Twitter

Or any other wildlife that reproduces for that matter. Yesterday, The Huffington Post released these images of a toy giraffe and lion with their own set of private parts. It’s starting to feel a bit like Jurassic Pork up in here, folks!

Image via Chris McGonigal / Huffington Post
Image via Chris McGonigal / Huffington Post

No one could have predicted that a single tweet about horse wood (or plood, in this case) would turn into back-breeding banter that reached as far away as Singapore, but it did and it certainly didn’t take long.

Though we have reached out to Battat for response, it is still unclear whether the phallic symbol is genuine or if the original toy was hijacked and altered by an actual horse’s ass. In a world of anatomically correct farm animals, perhaps some things are better left unknown.

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