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Dad Defends His Habit of Doting On His Ex-Wife

Photograph by Twenty20

Billy Flynn woke up early on a recent Sunday morning to buy flowers, cards and a gift for his ex-wife, the mother of his kids. He then helped the boys make breakfast and did whatever he could to ensure that her birthday was special.

Not everyone bought into this logic.

When a friend later asked why the hell he still did things for someone he was no longer married to, Flynn got fired up and shared a powerful message on the Love What Matters Facebook page.

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"It's my ex-wife's birthday today, so I got up early and brought flowers and cards and a gift over for the kids to give her and helped them make her breakfast. Per usual someone asked me why the hell I still do things for her all the time. This annoys me. So ima break it down for you all.

"I'm raising two little men. The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women and affect their perception of relationships. I think even more so in my case because we are divorced. So if you aren't modeling good relationship behavior for your kids, get your shit together. Rise above it and be an example. This is bigger than you.

"Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them, now more than ever."

Breakups are never easy, and divorce can lead us down a painfully dark road. And there's a serious trickle-down effect. Everyone involved, including the couple, their children, relatives, friends and pets, experience some level of discomfort when a marriage ends. But why? Why can't we just accept the fact that things don't always work out and be happy for one another?

One word, my friends: ego.

Flynn's advice is something that every couple going through a seperation or divorce should consider, especially those with children. Parents—all of us, not just dads—need to be aware of the influence that our actions have on those around us and how easily a simple act of kindness can weave itself into the lives of others.

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At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong. What matters is how we feel about ourselves and the way we treat those around us. If there is mutual respect, the emphasis will always lean towards love. And, if my calculations are correct, that is where true happiness resides.

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