A Wichita, Kansas, chiropractor thinks it is a good idea for women to glue their labia shut during menstruation and ditch their pads and tampons. (Yes, really.) And although it's not yet on the market, according to Forbes, women everywhere are asking: What. The. F*ck.
Did I mention he is also a chiropractor?
Daniel Dopps believes that his Mensez adhesive “lipstick” is the end-all solution to a women's monthly visitor. Though he admits his product may seem a bit strange, he also stands behind it 100 percent, claiming it will produce “large, wide social implications for women."
Mensez feminine lipstick "is a natural patented compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick applicator that is applied to the labia minora and causes them to cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit. The Mensez compound is instantly washed away with urine, which releases the menstrual fluid along with the urine into the toilet every time a woman urinates. No pads or tampons are needed. Safe, secure and clean.”
(Insert gagging here.) Yeah, right.
The thought of gluing our labia shut is enough to make a grown woman cry. There's a reason we haven't done it before, and I'm guessing it has something to do with logistics. First, this is the most delicate part of a woman's anatomy. It is not a place to test adhesive materials or pretend to be an at-home surgeon. And how, pray tell, are we supposed to get an air-tight seal on our lady parts anyway? It would be virtually impossible to get a decent view of that whispering eye without the aid of a lab technician and—even if he provided one for us—there's still a chance that a pre-existing skin condition could stand in the way of those curtains closing without some kind of liquid seeping through. #sorrynotsorry #cantbedone
Mensez recently updated their website with a disclaimer on the home page, stating their Facebook page had been hacked after this post went viral:
In it, Dobbs wrote, “You as a woman should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t. Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25 percent of the time, making them far less productive than they could be. Women tend to be far more creative than men, but their periods that stifle them and play with their heads.”
For a guy who claims to be a "white straight man,” he certainly doesn't seem to know much about a woman’s body, and my money is on the fact that he's never even seen a labia up close in his lifetime. (Or any books on the English language.) Perhaps he should consider applying this lipstick to his own flapping crease so we don’t have to listen to any more of his ludicrous philosophy about Aunt Flo and her cousin Red.
If you wanted to mess with a woman’s lady bits, maybe you should have become a gynecologist, buddy.