Some women feel like sex goddesses during pregnancy. Their sex drive skyrockets, their boobs have never looked better and blood is flowing to all the right spots. But for others, nothing about pregnancy is sexy. Mel Watts, an Australian blogger, is 30 weeks pregnant with her fourth kid and she's not afraid to tell it like it is.
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In a viral Facebook post, Watts distinguishes these two types of pregnant women: "You know there are some women who thrive when they're pregnant. They love a bit of loving from the big D and then there's people like me."
They all start off with some pretty high expectations.
"I'll embrace it—I said.
I'll thrive—I said.
I'll love him so much more—I said.
I'm going to be the best sex goddess ever when pregnant—I said."
But then reality kicks in.
"Well here I am.
Beach whaled AF.
Wearing a liner—not because I'm that kind of wet.
I have a rash on my stomach from stretching skin.
My breasts are weapons they'll knock anyone out.
Unlike pregnancy sex, her words are pure poetry.
Watts also shares her amazement that her husband still wants her, even with all the underboob sweat and unshaved body parts. "Like what is wrong with this man? ... Maybe he's one of those people that like this kinda situation? Or maybe he is just an amazing, caring doting and a terrible liar partner of an over-emotional stretched pregnant wife. Either way—I'll keep him."
But for real, even if you are into it just as much as he is, there are still some tricky technicalities to work through.
"How do you even fuck whilst pregnant? #letsbehonest," another blogger asks in the comments. Apparently, moms aren't feeling any of the possible positions. Having to have side sex is out of the question and woman-on-top positions are too hilarious to get through when you feel like your stomach is about to hit you in the face.
But hey, married couples are now having way less sex than before anyway, so skipping third trimester sex is totally on trend ... right?