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Is Your Vibrator Spying on You?

Photograph by Twenty20

The makers of We-Vibe, a Bluetooth-enabled vibrator for couples, was recently cited for sending private data to the manufacturer through a companion app. The Canadian has agreed to settle a $3.75 million class-action lawsuit with customers. Hmmm, that sounds like a whole lot of quivering silicone to me.

According to The Chicago Tribune, a class-action lawsuit was filed against Standard Innovation Corporation last year after one woman came forward, claiming she was unaware that the device maker was monitoring her usage and collecting "personally identifiable" information.

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Does this mean that loose lips really do sink ships? Maybe. But how? Vaginas can’t talk. It turns out, the mysterious data wasn't seeping out of anyone's "coin purse," but rather, it was coming from another private part, buried deep within an app on your phone.

The app allows customers to text and video chat with one another as well as control the device remotely through a paired smartphone. Yep, you heard me right: a remote control for your personal vibrator and another reason not to let your kid play with your smartphone.

In addition to cranking up the voltage on your own private spy trap, the app allows customers to adjust settings—WAIT FOR IT—on their partner's device.

Not. Even. Kidding. Can’t you just hear it now? "Mom, what's this red button for?"

It’s a child protective services call waiting to happen, and guess what? There’s MORE! According to the lawsuit, the app didn't just dispatch frequency waves for couples to ride out; it transmitted detailed information (i.e., date, time, usage details and email addresses) to their company servers.

On a scale of 1 to "I feel totally violated," how creeped out are you right now? Well, don’t be.

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As part of the settlement, pending court approval, Standard Innovation will no longer use the device to collect personal data from users. They have agreed to destroy all material gathered thus far, and are required to advise customers of any plans they have to collect information in the future, which would include an opt-out feature for those not willing to participate.

But let's get back to this remote-controlled vibrating joystick, shall we?

Whether you're an old-school hacker, satisfied with the simple purple eggplant emoji dildo, or a high-tech power couple who has grown tired of FaceTime, it is hard to deny the beauty of this device.

We-Vibe, aside from its modern design, is what happens when technology meets lust. They've combined all the things a woman desires—including an apology—and added a little twist. Don't believe me? Check out their "Spice Gone Wrong" video. It's hilarious and awesome all at once.

Also, it's a good thing they settled their differences in court because it might be time for me to place an order. #kiddingnotkidding

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