Lollipop, lollipop! Whoa, lolli- lollipop. What's that you're sucking on?
Boutique candymaker Lollyphile is tickling gag reflexes everywhere with the introduction of its newest flavor (based on the taste of the real thing): breastmilk.
The company, known for making lollipops using flavors that appeal more to adults—absinthe, habanero tequila, maple-bacon (with Kosher vegan bacon bits)—this new flavor draws inspiration from the youngest of palates. According to the Lollyphile website, the candy alchemists at the 5-year-old company reached that certain age when you look around and find yourself surrounded by lactating friends. These friends donated their surplus milk, which out-of-the-boob thinkers at Lollyphile used to get this new lollipop where it needed to be—in some strange adult's mouth.
(Maybe it was candy or keepsake jewelry, so they decided to stick with what they know.)
The lollipops, which don't actually contain any breastmilk—but simply mimic the flavor—are delicious, an email alerting customers to the new flavor claims. In fact, the makers say they're addictive. "We're not worried whether or not you'll like it. We are, however, concerned we'll have to wean you off of them."
Consider it done, Lollyphile. I don't think I could muster the proper latch for licking away at breastmilk suckers—for sure not at $10 for four.
But if mother's milk-on-a-stick is you're thing, be sure to use the discount code MAMMALS (of course). Try not to cry like a baby when they're sold out.