Kids aren’t
the only ones getting report cards this time of year. This week, Star magazine—a rag known for exposing
the most unflattering facets of celebrity life from swimsuit cellulite to
weight gain—took to grading celebrity parenting practices with its Celebrity
Mom Report Card. And the results contain some obvious straight-A's and flunks,
as well as some surprises. Here’s a rundown of the best and worst:
Angelina
Jolie got an A+ for her double mastectomy, since the motive behind her
operation was this: “I can tell the children that they don't need to fear they
will lose me to breast cancer.”
Reese
Witherspoon received a D+ for ragging on those cops who pulled her husband
over—clearly not role model behavior for her kids.
Katie Holmes? C- for taking Suri out to dinner at midnight.
January Jones earned a B+ for eating her own placenta.
Gwyneth Paltrow got a D for denying her kids carbs.
Halle Berry got
a C- for talking trash to her daughter about her dad in an attempt to turn her
against him.
Pink got a
B+ in spite of swearing in front of her kids (“Fuck Caillou! Turn on
Motherf---ing Arthur!”).
Tori Spelling got a D- for letting her kids watch too much TV (8
hours).
Big Bang’s Mayim Bialik got a dubious
B- for breast-feeding her son until age 4.
Britney Spears got a C+ for letting strangers watch her kids.
Last but not least, Heidi Klum got an A+ for rescuing her kids from a
riptide in Hawaii.