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There's No 'Planning' in 'Pregnant'

While Aunt Flo was in town, I took the opportunity to relax. I didn’t worry about charting anything or if we should be getting busy after the kids went to bed. I tried to keep up with taking my basal temperature each morning, but didn’t stress about forgetting. It’s not a solid habit for me yet. Too often, I move around as I wake up before I grab my thermometer. It’s funny, though—this morning when my 4-year-old crawled into bed to snuggle, she asked if I needed to take my temperature.

Even the 4-year-old has picked up on my new need to do this in the mornings. She’s pretty on board with this whole thing. Well, as much as a 4-year-old be, anyway. Just the other day she randomly told me that I need more kids. She talks about how she and her brother were in my belly before being born and that she wants a baby at home. She even declared that she wants four babies of her own.

I was curious. I’d be happy with another boy or girl, but I wondered, what would it take to tip the scales in favor of a girl or a boy?

She still seems to think we can choose to give her a baby sister. Whenever she brings it up we remind her that if we are blessed with Baby No. 3, it could be a boy or a girl. She insists we have a girl because she already has a baby brother.

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I’ve seen other moms talk about having a boy or girl by timing sex right and eating (or avoiding) certain foods. I asked one of them about it and did some searching. I was curious. I’d be happy with another boy or girl, but I wondered, what would it take to tip the scales in favor of a girl or a boy? From what I read, it sounds like timing sex (and possibly position) may influence which swimmer gets to the egg first. While intriguing, I can’t really time our baby-making sessions very well yet nor do I want to miss the window of opportunity by skipping sex closest to ovulation.

Clearly, I’m not cut out for a whole lot of planning right now. The basic plan is to get pregnant. I’m trying to figure out ovulation by charting basal body temperature and cervical mucus, and I’ll start the ovulation predictor kits again. This time, I’m going to pee on them twice a day instead of only once a day. I’ll go through a whole lot more, but a friend suggested this so I increase my chances of detecting a surge.

The idea of planning anything about how or when I get pregnant feels foreign to me. I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was at a work meeting at a client’s home. She lived on the third floor and did not have air conditioning. It was a very hot and humid summer day and I was dressed in business casual attire. Being very warm and pregnant, I quietly fanned myself throughout the meeting. One of the other workers made a comment about how I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the summer if it was too hot for me.

I’ll never forget that. After almost three years of trying to conceive, I didn’t care what time of year I was pregnant. I was so happy to BE pregnant. There was no planning for when!

RELATED: Conversations to Have With Your Partner Before Getting Pregnant

Shortly before my husband and I finally decided to try for Baby No. 3, we joked about needing to spread the kids’ birthdays out. My son and daughter are 25 months apart, so there’s only about a month in between their special days. Both are in the fall, so I said it’d be fun to have a summer baby. (My husband and I are both winter babies.) We should have started sooner. We’re about to run out of attempts before the due dates move into fall again, but isn't that part of the adventure of trying to conceive? You can take your basal temperature until you're blue in the face and chart your ovulation endlessly, but you can't plan your baby's gender, birth date or a million other things ... and that's OK.

Image via Shutterstock

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