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Trying to Conceive During Life Changes

Once the decision is made to start trying, I feel like we must reach the end goal or it may never happen. I fear delaying for too long. Perhaps it is an irrational fear, but let’s face it—I’m not getting any younger.

I feel my biological clock ticking with a (mostly) self-imposed need to get pregnant again before I turn 35. With my 34th birthday just around the corner, the tick-tock is getting louder in my ears. Yet, we recently considered delaying trying to conceive.

I hate the “can we afford another baby?” question, but we needed to consider how expanding our family right now impacts our budget and debt-free goals.

This summer we took a hard look at our financial situation and decided to focus on becoming debt-free. It was a big decision for us that led to significantly changing our spending habits. It felt great as we knocked out the first couple of debts on our list, but, of course, baby talk required us to have another money talk.

I hate the “can we afford another baby?” question, but we needed to consider how expanding our family right now impacts our budget and debt-free goals. We aren’t struggling, but becoming debt-free takes time. More time than I want to wait before having another baby. It’s a goal we can still achieve; it’ll just take longer to get there.

However, we’re facing some work stability concerns right now and that is scary to me. While the cost of a third baby would be minimal for us (we practically have everything we need), there’s the uncertainty of replacing lost income. How long would it take? Could we do it with me continuing to work from home or would I have to look outside the home? What would childcare look like?

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I started to feel nervous. It’s one thing to already be pregnant or have a newborn while facing a life change, but another to actively try to conceive a baby through it. That’s when the doubts crept in and I started questioning if we should postpone our attempts or not.

Instead of postponing, I moved forward on one of my passions. Last month I attended a training to become a postpartum doula and will begin working towards my certification. It’s exciting and I can’t wait to get started on my new venture, yet it’s scary to have so many changes going on at once.

We decided that it’s nearly impossible to plan the perfect time to have a baby. There’s always a bit of uncertainty, but we know that somehow it will all work out. I was laid off during my maternity leave after having my first baby and we figured it out. We could get pregnant this month—or maybe in six months, despite our efforts. So many things can change between now and the eventual big fat positive pregnancy test. So many things can change between conception and birth. Life changes constantly which is why we’ll continue trying for now rather than regret waiting.

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