I dropped by my mom's house unexpectedly late one morning. She asked if I wanted to go out for lunch and I accepted. This is one of the perks we're enjoying now that we are both mostly working from home. It's great to take time out of our busy schedules to spend some time together on any given day of the week. I was also glad to have lunch with her on this day because I had some news to share.
We went to this cute new Japanese-Thai restaurant close by. After we had ordered and received our food, I could feel the nerves building inside of my chest. It was now or never. I instantly had a flashback to years earlier when I sat with my mom in a Japanese restaurant in Dallas, Texas, and I told her that I would be moving to Denver. I remembered the shock and the "but why?" so I braced myself for a similar reaction.
"I really want to be a surrogate."
Why in the world would I take on such a risk and put myself through something as uncomfortable (to put it lightly) as pregnancy when I would not get to keep the reward at the end?
I've never seen my mom's eyes get so big. Here's the thing, out of my mom's daughters, I'm definitely the one who thinks outside the box, let's say. I always seem to come up with these "crazy" ideas, like moving across the country and carrying other people's babies. But somehow my "crazy" ideas always seem to work out. My mom is a very matter-of-fact, no-nonsense type of woman. She sees things as black and white and, for her, this surrogacy thing was not adding up. Why in the world would I take on such a risk and put myself through something as uncomfortable (to put it lightly) as pregnancy when I would not get to keep the reward at the end? I would have to gain weight and endure back pain and be tired all the time and then go through painful labor—and at then I would simply hand over the baby to someone else. No sense.
But, I want to do it. I really want to do it. So we spent the rest of our lunch discussing surrogacy. What the process looks like, why I think I'm ready for such a sacrifice and what made me think of it in the first place. She tried to talk me out of it but I think by the end of our chat she had accepted that my mind was made up. And that's something I truly appreciate about my mom.
She will debate me and question my ideas and even try to change my mind, but when all is said and done, she's there for me like no one else. She supports me in everything I do and helps me out along the way. If there is one thing all the surrogacy experts agree on, it's that you must have the support of family when beginning this journey. Just like it takes a village to raise a child, sometimes it take a village to make one too.