Thinking positively and visualizing
yourself achieving your goals is supposed to be helpful. I do like to imagine
what life would be like with another baby in the house, but I’m not sure it’s
helping me to get pregnant.
When we were trying for our first, I recall
people practically shoving their babies at me. “Oh, just hold her. Maybe it’ll
rub off,” a friend once said.
At that time, we’d already been trying for
more than a year and my emotions were delicate and fragile. I had mixed
feelings about being around other people’s babies and celebrating their
pregnancies. It was difficult to process feelings of joy tinged with jealousy
and sorrow. The emotions were too muddled.
Most of the time I loved to snuggle
babies, though—especially newborns. Smelling their sweet scent and looking into
their squishy faces would hit me right in the ovaries. Every. Single. Time.
The notion that holding more babies would finally kick my body into gear seemed silly to me, though. I mean, really: How is holding a baby going to make me ovulate and ensure it’ll get fertilized?
The notion that holding more babies would
finally kick my body into gear seemed silly to me though. I mean, really: How
is holding a baby going to make me ovulate and ensure it’ll get fertilized? And
implant? And all the other science that goes into the process of conception.
It seemed as ludicrous as the idea that
pregnancy could somehow be contagious if you hung out with too many pregnant
ladies. Except, somehow, that seemed to be the case with my first.
Throughout the time we were trying to
conceive our first baby, I was working as a case manager assisting adults.
About the time I gave up hope of getting pregnant on our own, I was selected to
work with a new pilot program. This program was exclusively for pregnant women
and women who recently gave birth. I was excited to work with these ladies.
It may have purely been a coincidence,
but once I began working with my first few clients, I found out I was pregnant.
After nearly three years of trying to get pregnant, we conceived naturally
after I started working in this new program surrounding myself with new mamas
I still look back at how my pregnancy
progressed right alongside that program. I can’t help but wonder, will we
conceive Baby No. 3 once I start taking on postpartum doula clients? Either
way, it can’t hurt to try surrounding myself with lots of babies again.