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Flying to Make My Maybe Baby

It's crazy: By the time this article publishes, I will be on a plane to Texas for our donor cycle. I explained in my blog last week about our schedule this time around, but here is a quick recap: On day two of my cycle, we booked the plane tickets, hotel and rental car. My prescriptions have now been picked up from the pharmacy. I started my estrogen pills and patches and had my second ultrasound today to check how my lining is coming along (we want it nice and cushy). Transfer is set for March 25.

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When I think back to last October, planning the first donor egg cycle in Texas, I remember anxiety, stress and lots of tears. I was working full-time at a job that zapped most of my energy, leaving little left to plan a transfer. I was very anxious about traveling to another state, trying to schedule appointments and coordinate them with where exactly we were in Texas. We stayed the first night in a hotel in Dallas, and then had to spend three hours in the car in the early morning frantically trying to make our ultrasound appointment (which we ended up being late for). We thought we were being smart by booking a hotel ten minutes from the clinic, so Chris could go to his sperm-collecting appointment in relatively quick time, only to end up finding out that the actual clinic he needed to go to was over two hours away in traffic.

As good as I feel about this trip, as confident as I am because we have done this all before, I am terrified of transfer day.

This time around, I am no longer commuting to work and am working casually from home. We strategically found a hotel by the correct clinic, ten minutes away and are flying directly to Houston, eliminating an insane amount of hours driving from Dallas. We saved money on our flights and rental car. We are spending my bed rest days plus a few bonus days staying in a beach house on the Gulf with my friend Celina, whom we stayed with last time.

I'm thinking of this trip as a vacation, which in a lot of ways it is. I get to see my little sister again, and also my infertility soul mate that I met in person for the first time when we did our transfer in October. We get to stay in a beach house for six nights. And, yes, there will be a little state-of-the-art baby-making thrown in there as well. That's how I need to think of it. If I think about the fact that we are coming down to the wire, if I think about how much this transfer will mean to us, if I think about the whole thing not working … well, I am not going to think about it. I can't. As good as I feel about this trip, as confident as I am because we have done this all before, I am terrified of transfer day. I don't usually get good news on transfer day.

RELATED: Why My Infertility Treatments Are Worth the Pain

So wish us luck. Send us positive thoughts/vibes/baby love. May the embryos be ever in our favor.

Image via Twenty20/iPhonephotography

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