In every trying to conceive journey I've been on, there are
plenty of ups and downs. Getting pregnant doesn't always happen as quickly and
easily as we'd like to believe. It can also be an emotional roller coaster. I'm
trying hard to hang on to the positives about trying for another baby, but I
can't ignore the complex feelings I've been dealing with. Through the tears of
disappointment I try to keep my humor about the crazy ride getting pregnant can
be all while keeping my eye on the goal of a sweet bundle of joy at the end of
Here are the 8 worst things about trying to conceive:
1. Becoming obsessed with charting everything. Sure,
charting can help you learn more about your cycle. It might start with jotting
down your period and which nights you had sex. It might evolve to include daily
basal body temperature and cervical mucus consistency. Then you start wondering
if you should make note of every cramp, sign of spotting or anything else that
seems out of the ordinary. You know, just in case it helps you pinpoint
ovulation or possible conception. Can't risk missing a pattern that no one else
has thought of yet!
2. Peeing on things. Try peeing on an ovulation prediction kit one to two
times a day for a week every month (give or take a few days) and a couple
pregnancy tests every month (because that first negative is always hard to
believe). Granted, you get quite good at peeing in a cup, which comes in handy
once you're pregnant.
3. Scheduled sex. Deciding to try for another baby is
exciting at first, and dare I say, hot. You and your partner look forward to
lots of baby-making sessions. After several unsuccessful cycles you have to
watch out for TTC burnout so it doesn't become a complete chore. Also, it can
be quite trying to get busy when you have little kids in the house.
Whether you are trying for your first baby or you have other children, it's frustrating not to get pregnant when you're actively trying.
4. Fear of infertility. Whether you are trying for your
first baby or you have other children, it's frustrating not to get pregnant
when you're actively trying. Emotions run high and you worry about the "what-ifs." It can leave you feeling sad, scared and alone.
5. It can be expensive. Ovulation prediction kits and
pregnancy tests add up. Seeking fertility treatments are also costly. Even if
you haven't started fertility treatments, it can be worrisome to consider those
6. Waiting. Trying to get pregnant feels like a hurry up
and wait game. You may wait for signs that you are near your fertile window.
You do your best to time sex so the swimmers are waiting for the egg. Then you
have to wait at least two weeks to find out if it worked! If it didn't, you
keep at it. Generally you wait for a year with no success before seeking
7. Other people's pregnancy announcements. This can be
emotionally difficult. You're disappointed month after month of trying while it
feels as though everyone around you is getting pregnant easily. You're happy
for them, yet sad for you with a twinge of jealousy. This is usually the
hardest right after getting another big fat negative pregnancy test.
8. Unsolicited and crazy advice. When it comes to babies,
everyone has an opinion on how to make one, birth one and raise one. Some
advice is well-intentioned, while some is way out in left field. Sad part is,
when you really want to have a baby, you might try even the silliest of ideas
because you never know! It can bring about very personal questions which may
embarrass you at first. However, as time goes on, you have no qualms discussing
your cervical mucus with your best friend while out for lunch.
A few months ago, I had to take a step back from becoming obsessed with charting. I can't help wondering about secondary infertility,
especially knowing how much we struggled to conceive our first child. I've
started to notice how pregnancy announcements on Facebook are hitting me in the
heart more. I acknowledge it though, which helps more than when I used to try
and hide feelings of hurt and sadness. I might need to try more of the crazy
advice I've heard, though!