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The Easiest 2-Week Wait Ever

The 2-week wait: What every woman trying to conceive has to endure before finding out if that month's cycle worked, whether it's baby-making sex, an insemination or an embryo transfer. I've done them all, and I can tell you, the stress and the pressure is all the same.

I've eaten pineapple core after a transfer, because some enzyme in there is apparently supposed to help with implantation. I've given up caffeine and therefore forfeited any means of normal bowel movements for two weeks. I've drank raspberry tea and avoided alcohol and sat on my butt so that I wouldn't get too much activity.

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I've obsessed over Internet forums, Googling terms such as "10dp3dt" or "is it normal to have cramps after transfer?" and then promptly wailed to my husband, "That's it. This cycle didn't work and I will be childless forever."

I've done all these things and none of these things made me pregnant, or kept me pregnant. If I've learned anything over the years of countless 2-week waits, it's that nothing you do will make a lick of difference when it comes to that wait. Will eating healthier help you conceive? Depends on the issue. Over time, probably. But will giving up caffeine or Doritos during those two weeks help an embryo implant? Will choking down a bowl of pineapple core every day for 5 days after transfer help with implantation? You hear of those who swear by certain things.

At some point, I needed to step back and remember that it is only nature that can take those embryos and implant them into my uterus.

"I did acupuncture for my last cycle and it paid off because I am 16 weeks pregnant!"

"I went gluten-free, dairy-free and gave up simple sugars and caffeine and alcohol and took this vitamin and guess what? Two months later, I got pregnant!"

"I saw a Chinese herbalist three times a week who gave me six different teas. I am due next month!"

I remember reading all these things on past bed rests. I have had people tell me these things. Guess what? All it did was stress me out. I can't afford acupuncture because I've spent all my money on treatments. I like bread, cheese, doughnuts, coffee and a good wine, and I am already taking enough pills that my bathroom cabinet looks like that of an 80-year-old man with a heart condition. And you guys, I am way too lazy to look into a Chinese herbalist. At some point, I needed to step back and remember that it is only nature that can take those embryos and implant them into my uterus.

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This time on bed rest, I had a glass of wine. I stuffed myself with fancy cheeses and had to take extra stool softeners to counteract that. I sat up to eat my meals and didn't think twice about it. The day I got off bed rest, I walked all day long, ate Gulf shrimp and never missed a morning cup of coffee. I got a sunburn from too much time by the ocean. I was four hours late taking my progesterone shot one night. And guess what? Not only am I happier, calmer and less stressed this time around, I have reason to think that everything I have done this cycle has been right for me.

Because as of right now, I am four weeks pregnant—and very suspicious that it's with twins.

I truly believe that this cycle worked, not only because of the incredible embryos or the treatment of my MTHFR gene mutation, but because I stopped trying to fight my body and take control over the situation. This has been the easiest 2-week wait I've done.

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