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From Infertility and Beyond: I Couldn't Ask for a Better Baby Daddy

With Father's Day approaching, I've been reflecting on the man I married and the fact that in six months, he is going to be holding his child in the hospital room. It's no secret that my husband is going to make an amazing daddy. I've been told this numerous times while watching him interact with other people's children. But it's more than that.

Being a father is all about sacrifice, right? I mean, you hear about the men that take off in the night, abandoning the wife and child he was supposed to be there for. You hear about the dads too busy pursuing their next big dream to notice their own child has grown up seemingly overnight. You also hear of the ones who place the tiara on their heads and hold out the teacup to their tiny daughter, asking politely for more tea. You hear of the ones applauding the loudest after their son walks across the stage in the cap and gown. Because, being a father is about putting your child before yourself.

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Early on in our marriage, I would remember crying on my husband's shoulder, telling him how sorry I was that my body was failing to give him a baby. Like many others in the depths of infertility, I told him he would be happier with someone else, someone who could get pregnant from sex and not go deep into debt for a child that may not ever come. Looking back, I get how stupid it sounds. But, years later, I have come to realize how incredible of a father he will be because he has already shown sacrifice to the idea of a baby.

How can I have any doubt that he will not give his absolute all in raising our child with me, when he has already fought like hell to bring our baby into his world?

Every failed cycle, every negative test, he was there, agreeing with me when I said, "One more time." Every IVF, he was there, holding my hand, watching on the screen our embryo be transferred into my body. When I proposed flying across the country to another clinic for a donor egg cycle, he readily said, "Crazier things have been done."

Now that I am pregnant, he continues to show me that father he is to our baby. He keeps my water bottle filled with ice water in the fridge every morning because he knows going into the fridge and filling the bottle up with the filtered water makes me gag. He lets me stay on the couch while he grabs the crackers, the medications, the ginger ale, because, you know, gagging. You guys, he sits through the pregnancy week-by-week video clips of baby's development with me, without rolling his eyes. He kisses my baby bump (read: belly fat) every night before bed.

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I'm lucky. I know I have one of the good guys. Being a father is about sacrifice. How can I have any doubt that he would sacrifice sleep for the 2 a.m. feedings when he is already willing to drive to the grocery store at the same time now, letting me quench my midnight ice cream craving? How can I have any doubt that he will not give his absolute all in raising our child with me, when he has already fought like hell to bring our baby into his world?

This weekend, along with my own daddy, who has always shown the same sacrifice to my sisters and me, I want to wish my husband a happy Father's Day. I couldn't imagine going through this journey with anyone else.

Image via Twenty20/carolyn.devine

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