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Hurry Up and Wait: A Surrogacy Journey

It was October of 2014 when I decided I was going to take the plunge into surrogacy. I started clicking around on different websites and sending out e-mails to people who could answer all my questions. I soon made contact with a lady who owned a small agency based in Miami, FL. We e-mailed back and forth and I filled out some preliminary paperwork. I thought they asked a lot of questions, but it was only the beginning.

The kind owner of the agency offered to meet up for lunch one day and I was excited to really get the ball rolling. She told me of her experiences in the surrogacy world and said to always keep in mind that the next few months would have a, "hurry up and wait" vibe. Now that I'm nine months into this journey (and still waiting on a pregnancy) I completely understand what she meant.

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It started with the paperwork. So much paperwork! I had to fill out questionnaires and get copies of my medical records and apply for health insurance. It seemed like the deadlines for all these things were always fast-approaching. I felt the tension to cross everything off of my to-do list quickly. Delaying anything could throw off the whole process. I did not want to be the reason for any hindrances. But then after turning everything in and catching my breath I would start eyeing the clock. I would check my e-mails constantly and stare at my phone waiting for it to ring with some kind of news on the other end. I would wait days, weeks, months to hear about the next step.

We then had to agree on every single point that might come up during the pregnancy and birth of the baby: how many embryos to transfer, how to compensate for bedrest if needed, travel restrictions, and so much more

When it came time to make a match with a couple, that was another "hurry up and wait" experience. I was very specific about the type of couple I was hoping to be matched with and the agency warned me it may take a while to find the right people. I prepared myself to have to wait a few months at least. I looked through a couple of profiles but I actually found the right Intended Parents for me rather quickly and we had to hurry up and make a formal agreement before the end of February for various reasons. I was excited. I soon had to sign more paperwork, make multiple appointments at the fertility clinic, and find a lawyer. We were hoping to get through contracts quickly, but by now you know that after the "hurry up" part comes the "wait" part.

Getting the contracts finalized was an agonizing process. I first had to prove I was in great health with a hospitable uterus. We then had to agree on every single point that might come up during the pregnancy and birth of the baby: how many embryos to transfer, how to compensate for bedrest if needed, travel restrictions, and so much more. The lawyers took their time making sure the language was clear and precise, there could be no room for error, which is definitely understandable and so needed. After quite some time of waiting to finalize the contracts the day came when we could sign. That was just last month. It's hard to believe that it was four months from the time I met my Intended Parents to the time we signed contracts. I felt as if we had crossed so many hurdles and I was happy to reach the end.

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Except this isn't the end, it's actually the beginning. This week I start medications (and wow, there are lot of medications.) The next few weeks will be filled with needles, ultrasound appointments, pills and hoping and praying for a little miracle to soon take root in my uterus. I've never had to work so hard to get a positive pregnancy test but we are hopeful that all the "hurry up and wait" will soon be worth it.

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Photo via Twenty20/Sacha

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