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8 Things You Shouldn't Say After a Pregnancy Announcement

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A pregnancy announcement is a huge deal. It signifies that someone's family is going to be expanding, and there are definitely emotions at play for all involved. But no matter how you feel about someone's pregnancy, especially when that someone is not you, you shouldn't say any of these stupid things to them when they tell you the big news.

And, yes, having had four children, I've heard many of these, especially when I got to pregnancy three and four. A simple congrats? Perfect. Questions about the due date or where the baby will be born? Wonderful. These things? Just no.

RELATED: 5 Things You Don't Want People to Ask About Your Baby

1. Was it planned?

I mean, really. Did you want to be there or something? Sorry I didn't print up tickets to my baby's conception. Maybe next time I'll be more thoughtful.

2. Again?

Usually reserved for someone who has more than a couple kids already, this terrible question is also hurled at people who have babies in quick succession. Yes, dammit, I want a million babies, okay?

3. Why?

Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why are you asking such a rude, impertinent question?

4. Don't you know how that happens? Heh heh.

Yes, chucklehead, I do, but maybe you don't. Do you need to read a book about sexual reproduction? Didn't your parents explain the birds and the bees to you? That's really sad.

5. Eek—my childbirth was a bloody, painful mess and all these terrible things happened to me ... [goes into horror storytelling mode]. Congrats!

Er, thanks. For nothing. Now I'm going to have nightmares, and I really didn't need any help with that.

6. Why are you having a baby when you work and will have to put him in daycare?

Why are you such a presumptive, aggressive jerk?

RELATED: 5 Reasons I'm Announcing My Pregnancy Early

7. You should breastfeed/cloth-diaper/throw away all the strollers.

Discussing parenting choices is fine, and sharing helpful tips is wonderful, but telling me what I should do makes me want to kick you in the pants.

8. Aren't you a little young/old to be having a baby?

Aren't you a little young/old to be saying stupid crap?

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