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Answer These 5 Questions Before Having a Third Kid

When I had a 3-and-a-half-year-old and a newborn, I started Googling, "What's it like to have 3 kids?" and "How much harder are 3 kids vs. 2?" You get the picture.

My kids are now 8, 5 and 3. I survived those very intense first years and, I mean, we are fine. We have access to fabulous shrinks in Los Angeles so I know we will persevere.

No regrets and all that, but there are questions I maybe should have asked during those late night Google deep dives, before my husband and I were outnumbered.

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Here the list for you mamas of two who might need to be Googling the same thing.

1. How mentally stable are you?

The answer for me? Not very. Really, make sure you are in a good place before you attempt three kids—or really any kids at all. Having three kids pulls you in all types of directions. Having your own family does not fix you.

2. Do you have access to someone who can help you?

I'm talking paid help. We are not meant to raise kids on our own. If you try it, even if you answered "yes, very" to question No. 1, I promise you that answer will change. If you are lucky enough to have a family member who will help you out, kiss the ground they walk on.

3. Can your middle child walk?

My first two kids were 3 and a half years apart. My second child had colic, and yet I still, intentionally, conceived while my second was 7 months old. I puked and could barely function for my first trimester. Needless to say, I barely remember him as a baby. Once my third arrived, it was two years of intense living. I'm talking rock 'n' roll without any of the drugs or sex. I have heard that having the first two kids closer in age and a bigger gap before you have the third is easier.

4. How well do you and you partner handle tremendous pressure?

One night while your partner is asleep, wake him or her up with some AC/DC blasting. Only be wearing his underwear and shout out that aliens have landed. This will be a good test. These are the types of adrenaline induced moment you will find yourself in with three kids.

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5. Do you have a car that can fit all five of you?

Adios, cute little Prius. Hello, minivan! Yes, you could refuse and go another route, but you will not care about cool when all you are trying to do is survive the first few years.

If you have answered "no"to all of these questions, you are like me and will probably go ahead and have that third child anyways.

Go on with your bad self mama.

Image via Twenty20/darby

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