Anyone who has ever been pregnant understands that the world
is full of bad advice. People seem to be overflowing with wisdom, especially
when it comes to another person's child. Combine that fact with the many superstitions
surrounding pregnancy, and the helpful advice can become absolutely bizarre.
These are some of our favorite bits of outlandish pregnancy advice.
Find Your Softest Washcloth
"Take a dry washcloth or hand towel and scrub your nipples.
You need to do this at least 3 times a day. If you don't, you will be sorry when
you begin to breastfeed. It is the best way to prepare yourself for the pain."
"To go to the dentist
because if not, my baby could be born with a cavity. This was given by the
nutritionist at my OB-GYN office."
Preferably at the Same Time
"Eat Chinese food and jump on a trampoline to start labor."
Girls Are a Lot of Work
"If you want to have a girl, you need to douche after the
first time, then have
sex again. Female sperm swim more slowly and appear in greater numbers the
second time around. (I've always suspected some man was responsible for this
"A Wal-Mart cashier I remember in particular told me that I
didn't look 'big enough' and that I was probably 'carrying in my
back' ... I am still not sure how in the heck a woman carries in her back. As far as I know, he was in my uterus the whole time."
- Megan Griffin
No, We Certainly Would Not
"To be careful having sex because we wouldn't want to poke
the baby in the eye or anything, now would we?"
- Jenna Jean
No Bathing Either!
"A friend was told she shouldn't swim while
pregnant because she would drown the baby."
- Aislinn Norah Burton
How Did SHE Get So Smart?
"I teach high school kids about all sorts of health-related
topics. When I was pregnant and leading a session about drugs, one of the girls in all
seriousness suggested that I should smoke marijuana, because that makes babies three times smarter!"