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Weirdest Latino Names From A to Z

Photograph by Twenty20

Mi gente, why does everyone front like giving babies weird names is such a new thing when it's so NOT? It's also not just a celebrity thing — yeah, I'm looking at you Kim and Kanye — or an English-language thing because our antepasados were totes into weird baby names. If you don't believe me just check out the list below with options from "A" to "Z"!

One state in Mexico even went as far as banning a list of 61 names you can't name your kid because of future bullying concerns, and there are plenty of other banned baby names around the world. I'm not all about telling parents what to do with their kids, but for Pete's sake, don't name your kid Nutella or Riesling, OK?

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The predictions for 2016 baby names are in and while Frida is on the list of names gaining popularity (yes, as in Mexican artist Frida Kahlo), just do your kid a favor and keep away from this list of names that are sure to cause ridicule and plenty of problems on the playground.

Angustias
I want to know who looks at their newborn for the first time and thinks that Angustias is the perfect name. Anguish? Seriously?

Blandina
Do you name a daughter Blandina because you want her to be bland? Why would you want that?

Chona
And this one is just too close to chones or chonies. Poor kid.

Cliofas
Only cartoon characters should have this name.

Demetario
This name is straight up demented. Am I right?

Ermenegilda/o
At least with this one you could shorten the name to Gilda or Gildo, which I guess is not that bad. But the only Ermenegildo the world needs is fashion designer Ermenegildo Zegna.

Eleuterio
You don't want to name your child this because when you scream for him, everyone is going to think you are yelling "elotero!" and be so disappointed when there is no elotero in sight.

Facunda/o
The name technically means "eloquent speaker," but who wants to listen to someone with that name? I'm kidding —kind of.

Gliceria
Isn't this a kind of soap? You know, the kind that melts away too fast if you keep it in water.

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Gumersindo
"Ay qué lindo," said no one ever about this name.

Herculano
Do I have to tell you this rhymes with año if you change the ñ to an n?

Ilora
It almost sounds like a question. "Y 'hora?" You want your child's name to make a statement, not ask a question, for crying out loud.

Juvernón
I can already hear the playground chanting, "Juvernón es un huevón," and it's not pretty.

Longinos
I suppose it's better than naming a child Lonjudo, but not much.

Maclovia
Sounds like a villain from a Disney movie.

Nemesio
This is absolutely a villain's name! You are actually setting this kid up for a life of evil.

Obdulia
Perhaps Obtusia would be a good substitute in this case.

Panfila
Again, a name that should only be given to a cartoon character.

Pitasio
What would the short version for this be? Pits?

Primitiva
Wow, way to set a female up for life-long issues. This name should come with a therapist.

Proculo
Hmmm, I wonder what this rhymes with? Can someone help me out here?

Quiteria
Try applying for a job with a name like Quit-eria. No, thank you!

Sandalio
I would rather go with Chanclalio if you are going to go there at all.

Socorrido
I would advise against naming a boy Socorrido or Sacudido, wouldn't you? One you would feel like rescuing and the other like shaking and neither is good.

Soyla
I'm going to tell my kids to start calling me this because I'm always saying, "Soy la unica que limpia."

Robustiana
Let's hope she doesn't end up being flat-chested.

Torcuato
I'm pretty sure this is some kind of medical condition.

Transita
It's like this name is neither here nor there.

What are some of the weirdest Latino names you've ever heard?

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