A mom never knows it all—she can only learn and grow from her experiences. Whether she has one child or multiple children, she'll use each experience to become a better mother and woman.
Now that I've been through two
pregnancies and welcomed two incredible new lives into the world, I definitely
have a few things I'd say to my younger self, back when I was pregnant with my first-born, Aden. Not only would this wisdom have helped me through the hard times
with my first son, but it would have been a valuable reminder with my daughter
Sometimes the smallest words of encouragement are the toughest to
remember, so I hope this letter inspires new moms embarking on their journey to
Dear (Expecting) Tamera,
Pregnancy is exhilarating, and yes, scary. There will be times you
wish you could hold onto a moment forever, and times you feel lost, alone and
exhausted. But you know what? This is the only first pregnancy you'll ever
have! It will be so much more joyful if you remember these three things about
First of all, take time for YOU. You need to nourish yourself in
order to fully be able to take care of your baby and support your partner. It
means taking days off when needed, as much as you dislike saying no to people.
They will understand! It means taking a step back at times, even if it's just
so you can take a relaxing hot bath to gain some mental clarity. Find your own happiness;
be easier on yourself. Yes, it's easier said than done, but in the end, you'll
always find a way to work it out. So take that day off or say yes
to a lunch with the girls and remember that your partner, family and friends
all want that happiness for you too.
Secondly, you will be tempted to play the comparison game. After
all, you've never had this experience so what else do you have to look to? Even
so, you should never compare yourself to another mom's journey or postpartum
body. Each woman and child is different. They behave differently, connect
differently and their bodies transform differently. You'll see photos on
social media of mothers that do things differently than you. Yes, you'll even
see some unsettling comments on your own posts. But you'll also see that other
moms can offer tremendous support, and even have the same questions you do.
You'll realize just how many other moms are out there on the same journey—especially when you first post your own due date and read about how many other
mommas-to-be have the same one too!
There's never going to be a single box you can fit motherhood in.
All that matters is that you work hard at being a mom and you do what's right
for you and your baby. When you feel yourself starting to compare, redirect
your mind to this thought instead: Is this right for me and my baby? That's how
you find answers!
My last piece of advice to you is this: Enjoy every aspect of the
journey. Enjoy being a new mom; enjoy the good moments and the unpleasant ones.
No matter what they are, these moments shape you. Trust me, even through those
stressful and not-so-glamorous aspects of motherhood, you'll never regret this
experience. When it's over, you'll cherish everything that happened, just the way it happened.