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Tamera Mowry: How Helping Other Moms Makes Me Better
byTamera MowryApr 13, 2016
It's human nature to find yourself drawing conclusions or questioning another woman's parenting (energy that would be better spent improving our own relationships with our children and partner), but the need to lend support to other moms goes further than that. Mom or not, sometimes seeing eye to eye with another person is tough. Personal relationships can go through difficult times and even mature groups of friends can turn into high-school level cliques.
But we all know this truth: You can't control what others do. You're only in charge of you. Why not use that strength to empower yourself and other women, rather than bring them down? Motherhood shouldn't be wrought with judgments or cliques or critiques. It shouldn't be competitive. Ultimately we're all in it for the same thing: we want what's best for our child, despite the different journeys we embark on to give them what they need.
What's more, getting to know and befriending other moms is a true gift. You get to meet these women that have journeyed through pregnancy, that are giving their all to their kids. This offers up SUCH a huge opportunity for support and love. Having girlfriends who can understand you – even if it's just having a number to call when you have a silly question or had a difficult morning – is something to be grateful for and cherish.
Each of the women I know is strong in her own way, and had I not opened my mind to hearing another mom's story, I wouldn't have had such great support these last few years as I became a mother of two beautiful little ones. Of course, if you run into another mom you don't instantly click with, that's okay too. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be kind, even if you don't connect.
Why? All those moms surrounding you – at the grocery store, in church, running errands – their children are going to the same play dates and birthday parties and they'll go through school together too. How crazy is that? In any relationship, especially people you haven't spent much time with, it's easy to make snap judgments. But if we think about the fact that all of us mommas have children that will all interact with each other – we can realize that this is bigger than ourselves. If we're bullies to each other, how can we expect them to not be bullies to each other too? If we don't support each other, how will they learn to help a classmate in need or exercise understanding, patience and compassion?
You might not get to know everyone you meet, and you might not become best friends with everyone you get to know, but you can empower another and lend support where it isn't yet. We're all in this together!