Don’t worry, I won’t tell you yet again to relax. If you’re
trying to get pregnant—emphasis on the “trying” part—you’ll know that it’s
anything but relaxing. If you’ve passed that initial honeymoon phase of smiling
after sex because you’re sure this is the time you’ll remember because
it’s when you’re firstborn was conceived… and it’s not, nope, not again, then
you know quite how harrowing natural conception can be.
You change your diet, cut
down on sugar and artificial sweeteners, try to lose those extra ten
pounds, cut out alcohol and have your husband stop smoking weed, as it really
makes his swimmers slow, and still: Nada.
And then when after a year of trying the good old fashioned
way—or six months if you’re over 35—you have to go to the doctor for a
workup, that’s even less fun. They might send you for hysterosalpingogram
(an x-ray procedure to see if your tubes are open and if your uterus is normal)
or a a laparoscopy (to check for endometriosis), and even send you to a
Ugh, a fertility clinic. Who ever thought you’d have to
start fertility treatment for something that’s supposed to be so easy? You're
frightened of the the needles, the cost, the hormones—but then are relieved
when they tell you you only have to do an IUI. But when that fails to work
after three tries, you have to actually join “the IVF club.” It’s a club no one
wants to join—no one wants to escalate to the next level.
No one ever
told me this and I wish they had. I wish they had sat me down and said this...
So maybe you’re like me and you go looking for a natural IVF
clinic, one that uses less medication, or you’re like a friend of mine who
searched out healers like acupuncturists and nutritionists to avoid messing
with your body. (I did all of that too.) And you might spend months or years
pursuing promising treatments—and still, nothing.
So having been through it all, here’s the most important
thing you need to know if you’re trying to have a baby, whether you’re still
trying naturally or have moved on to assisted reproductive therapy. No one ever
told me this and I wish they had. I wish they had sat me down and said this:
The most important thing when trying to have a baby is
actually having the baby.
I know, Captain Obvious.
But listen, we get so caught up in the how—we want to
do it naturally, with no drugs, with no intervention, with no needles, no
hormones, no test tubes—which is understandable, because we should take care of
our health and our bodies. I’m not even advocating for immediate treatment or
hailing Western medicine.