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The Grossest Way To Get Pregnant

Photograph by Twenty20

There is WAY too much that us ladies didn’t learn in high school health. It’s definitely one of the downfalls of education these days.

Take, for example, cervical mucus.

Do you know what it is? What it does? If you didn’t learn about it in health (I know I didn’t), did your mom talk to you about cervical mucus during a coming of age conversation? Or, perhaps you've you heard whispers of words like stretchy, cloudy, and peak days on trying-to-conceive boards? I mean, have you ever wondered the reason behind the pantyliner market?

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It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but since I don’t think I’m the only one, I’ll spill that I didn’t understand the full scope of cervical mucus and how it affected my fertility until after my second baby was born.

That’s right, I went through two pregnancies and a lifetime of annual wellness appointments before learning how cervical mucus plays a role in conceiving. And I didn’t learn because a doctor finally decided to clue me in, I learned because a friend mentioned tracking her fertility on a whim and that sent me down a rabbit hole of research.

And I learned so much!

Like, did you know that the color and consistency of your cervical mucus can tip you off to your ovulation? You can literally time intercourse perfectly so sperm have the best chance of meeting an egg based on the results of a simple mucus check.

Generally, for most women, you'll see your monthly cycle go something like this: A stretch of bleeding days followed by a few dry days where you have no discharge/cervical mucus. Then, the next few days, you'll notice something on the tissue when you wipe. That's your cervical mucus and it's telling you that your body is ramping up for ovulation.

That's your peak day, when you're most fertile. This means it's time to make a baby... or not.

The amount will increase and the consistency will become more and more elastic until it's clear, stretchy, and lubricative when you test it between two fingers. That's your peak day, when you're most fertile. This means it's time to make a baby... or not.

I’ll be honest, when I first started reading up on checking cervical mucus, I was totally grossed out. There was nothing appealing to me about going to the bathroom, wiping, and touching the potential goo that was on the toilet paper. But, as I soon learned, that goo was the key to my next baby.

At every bathroom visit I observed my cervical mucus and made note—was I dry, was my mucus tacky or creamy? There are lots of things to look for, but the goal was to watch the progression of my cycle peak and pay careful attention to the day my mucus was shouting, “It’s baby time!

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So when my husband and I finally decided to try for Baby #3, I was excited to see if my new knowledge about my would help us achieve pregnancy easier. And it did—and quickly too!

If I think too much about the specifics I still get grossed out about all this cervical mucus business. But, I’ve never regretted learning more about my personal health and I’m so thankful that this not-so-hygienic practice led me to a positive pregnancy test.

So, trust me, if you're trying to conceive, read up on cervical mucus. You won't regret it.

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