Sure, it’s true that some women prance and shimmy through pregnancy and love every step of it. They make those nine months look like a manic Mentos commercial. But many don’t. For those women, myself included, pregnancy is nine months of ups and equal amounts of downs, watching what you eat, what you do, feeling like a whale, moving like a manatee, and fighting severe sushi cravings. It’s exciting but it can also be hard.
So if you’re limping along with cankles and wondering if the big day will ever come, here are 21 reminders that pregnancy is kind of awesome. And remember, it will be over before you know it!
1. You can use your belly as a table.
It’s there, and it’s surprisingly pretty stable, so you may as well make use of all that surface area. It’s like a built in snack bar, perfect for holding pretzels, milk duds and breakfast in bed (hint hint, family). Oh Mother Nature, what a clever way to facilitate eating a bowl of pralines and cream so comfortably on the couch.
While you're growing a tiny human in your belly go on and book a Pantene ad, too.
2. Your hair is lookin’ fine, girl.
Pregnancy is known for giving you those luscious, shiny locks. You may have a world map of melasma covering your face, but your hair is looking ooohhhweee. While you're growing a tiny human in your belly go on and book a Pantene ad, too.
3. Pizza tastes so much better. (We didn't think it was possible either.)
It’s common knowledge that pizza is delicious. But pizza when you’re pregnant takes on a whole new level of pleasure. And it makes sense, with the salt, the cheese, the crust, and the knowledge that you already have a massive belly, so what does it matter? See it as a gift, really. The cheese pie trophy is your pregnancy reward.
4. Those baby kicks
No level of grumpy is a match for the feeling you get when you experience those glorious baby kicks. Feeling your baby nudge (and sometimes wallop) you from the inside gives you an instant high, and you can’t help but pause, reset and be thankful.
5. You’ve got that glow.
Maybe it’s from the increased oil production from all the pizza you’ve been eating or maybe it really is from all that increased blood flow bringing that fresh and clean glow to your face. Whatever the hell is happening there, it looks good on you.
6. You get to consume 300 extra calories.
Sure that 300 calories only really amounts to an apple or a handful of almonds, but what fun is that? You’re lugging a bowling ball around and sporting a skin mustache. Get in that lasagna, babe.
7. You have another reason to wear sweats.
Let’s be real, no one needs an excuse to wear sweats, but you have one nonetheless. Now get over here, stretchy elastic waist band and let me wrap you around my baby bulge.
8. You are encouraged to take naps.
This almost seems like a trick, but pregnant women growing babies in their womb need extra rest! However, with other kids in the mix, this one may indeed just be a trick.
9. You eat healthier, at some point.
In between the sausage pizza and sour cream and onion Pringles, you do make a real effort to get some nutritious food in you. As much as the cravings consume you, so does your desire to take care of your baby’s development.
10. Your cleavage
Sure, they’re tender and veiny, but damn girl, your tatas are exquisite and screaming to be appreciated. Rock those fun bags, they’ll be scabbed over before you know it!
When you are granted that thing you have been craving, the heavens open.
11. The gratification when you eat something you’ve been craving
Those pregnant cravings are real. And they can’t be ignored. It’s like you can’t go on with your life until you have satiated that desire for a bacon cheeseburger or salt and vinegar chips. And when you are granted that thing you have been craving, the heavens open and you nearly fall to your knees in euphoric gratitude.
12. There are special parking spots reserved for you.
No one wants to compete for a parking spot with a hormonal pregnant woman. Don’t mind if I do!
13. No heavy lifting
Watching your friends do CrossFit while you read US Weekly on the stationary bike won’t riddle you with guilt anymore.
14. Imagine how good sushi, camembert and that first drink of whiskey are going to taste after nine months of going without.
Yeah, it blows to be denied what you used to regard as items necessary to your survival, but hey, turns out you can do without. And nine months sans alcohol is probably good for you.
15. You can have sex with wild abandon.
And by “wild abandon” I mean “oof, not this way,” and “don’t squish my belly” or “OMG are you poking the baby?” and “oy, that’s uncomfortable.” Sigh. But the “wild” really comes from not having to worry about getting pregnant. Checked that box already.
16. No period
Sure, the faucet of discharge isn’t so great, but no tampons or pads for nearly a year? Aw yeah, that’s pretty sweet.
17. It won’t last forever
Though heartburn and heavy breathing have become the norm and you feel like you’re made of belly, boobs and cankles, eventually and sooner than you think, it will all come to an end. It seems like an eternity now, but in just a matter of months, you’ll be holding a precious baby in your arms, and you will be able to see your feet again. You may almost actually miss being pregnant. Emphasis on “almost.”
18. Those foot rubs from your partner (hypothetical foot rubs at this point, but ahem!)
You are housing a baby! You are deprived of sleeping on your back or belly, normal sized feet, heartburn-less meals, whiskey, roller coasters and you are getting stretch marks, morning sickness and sciatica pain, just to name a few. Your partner will rub your feet maybe out of compassion, but mostly out of fear of what will happen to him if he doesn’t.
19. You are making a baby inside you!!!
That’s right. You are facilitating a freaking miracle. A baby, your baby is growing inside of you. And in nine-ish months, you will have a son or daughter to hold and cuddle and love forever. Your body is amazing. It's just another reminder of what a freaking warrior you are.