Most pregnant women run into at least one or five people who feel the need to make inappropriate comments, be it about how big your belly is ("Are you expecting twins?") or how you got that way. Yes, people can be rude, but it's a special kind of rudeness to say these things to a pregnant spouse of a U.S. soldier.
1. Why don’t you wait until your husband is out of
the military, so, you know, there is no chance of him dying?
You know, because civilians don’t get hit by buses, in car accidents
or have freak diseases and heart attacks. If we all waited to live our life
until retirement or contracts ended, or when we know exactly what the future
holds, what kind of life would that be?
2. Isn’t he scheduled to deploy?
We don’t know. Last time, we found out six weeks before
deployment that he would be leaving. Obviously, it is something to think about,
but planning life around the military’s constantly changing schedule is nearly
3. Aren’t Army hospitals the worst?
Well, I guess that depends. I hope my experience working
within the military health system is a good one.
4. My friend had [insert really horrible birth
story here] when she had a baby at the Army hospital, have you thought about
Thanks. I’m really sorry to hear about your friend,
hopefully that doesn’t happen to us.
We are all barefoot and pregnant, offering nothing to society other than being a drain on taxpayer resources.
5. What are you going to do if he deploys?
What do people want me to say here? I’m going to abort my baby? Of course not. We are going to figure things out and make the transition as smooth as possible for our family. What would you do?
6. When are you moving home to your parents’ house?
I am a grown-up with a job, a home and a life. I’m not running home to mommy when things get hard.
7. Aren’t you scared of being a single mother with
two young children?
Wow. I hadn’t even thought about all of the possible risks
that come with deployment. Thanks for bringing them to light. Those phantom
knocks at the door and unknown phone numbers calling at odd hours just didn’t
bother me at all before now.
8. Gosh, military spouses always seem to be
It’s pretty much a white trash trailer park around here. We
are all barefoot
and pregnant, offering nothing to society other than being a drain on taxpayer resources.
9. I don’t know how you do it. I don’t think I
Well, that is just so sweet of you to say. Would you put your
life on hold? Get a divorce over a pending deployment? Maybe you can help me
figure out what I’m doing wrong in my life.
least your kids are young and don’t realize when he’s gone.
Unfortunately, this is far from the truth. Everyone feels
the absence of a parent—whether it’s the added stress levels or the obvious
amount of bonding time that is missing. Building the relationship between my
husband who was deployed until our daughter was 3 months old took months—and when he leaves for weeks at a time for training not a year later, it still
takes time for them to reconnect and her to readjust to his presence. Kids of
all ages feel the separation, it just varies in how they are able to handle and
What's the rudest thing anyone said to you when you were pregnant? Tell us in the comments.