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Shhh! All the Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy Sex

Photograph by Twenty20

If you're pregnant, it’s pretty safe to assume that you've had sex—presumably quite a bit of it. And yet, pregnancy and sexuality are rarely spoken of in the same conversation. If you’re wondering what to expect in the bedroom when you’re expecting, here are five things I wish someone had told me.

1. The “don’t even look at me” phase

The first part of pregnancy is a lot like PMS on steroids, plus vomit. Getting busy got you into this miserable mess and you no longer want anything to do with it. Tender breasts and a quick gag reflex don’t exactly add up to a whole lot of sexy time. Don’t be alarmed if your libido disappears—this is not a permanent condition.

2. Wet dreams aren’t just for teenage boys

Pregnancy is the only time in my life that I experience full-on, to-completion sexy dreams. The first time it happened, I woke up shocked. After admitting it to a few friends, I discovered I was not alone. By Baby No. 3, I’ve come to really look forward to good night’s sleep.

Get it while the getting’s good, even if you feel more like a beached whale than a Playboy bunny

3. I just want to be all by myself

After three months of total disinterest, your second trimester might just usher in a newfound desire. You may not be in the mood to full on do it with a partner or your partner might feel a little wary of getting down with a baby on board, but there’s nothing stopping you from satisfying those urges on your own. Enjoy yourself guilt-free—many natural birth advocates claim that connecting to your sexuality helps you have a more positive birth.

4. Experiments in creative positioning

Your ever-changing body is going to require some changes in your naughty routine. At a certain point, lying on your back is out of the question and your bump may literally get between you and your partner. There will likely be laughs, but you might find yourself trying out positions that will add variety to your sex life beyond these nine months.

5. The 40-week hump

You might hear that having lots of sex at the end of your pregnancy will bring on labor. I did not find this to be the case. However, I ended up being really glad we gave it the old college try, because once baby arrives, sex is out of the picture for quite a while. Get it while the getting’s good, even if you feel more like a beached whale than a Playboy bunny. You’ll be happy you took the chance to connect with your partner before the realities of having an infant set in.

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