First comes the fun part: trying for a baby. Then comes the tough part: waiting to see if it worked. For a person with very little chill, those two weeks of waiting and wondering are pretty brutal. I’ve compiled the top five reasons why hanging out until you can pee on a stick is the actual worst.
1. Vice, vice, baby.
You know you’re potentially staring down the barrel of nine wine and coffee-free months, do you really have to pump the brakes for a small chance, a mere possibility? Are you going to spend the duration of your trying time living normally for two weeks followed by two weeks of teetotaling and bleary mornings? Unfortunately, for a rule follower like me, each sip comes with a little twinge of guilt.
2. Keepin’ it on the down low.
Call me private, but I don’t love the idea of everyone I chat with knowing whether or not I am trying to get pregnant. And yet it feels weird walking around with this big question mark floating above my head. I’m so curious it’s hard to think, and therefore talk, about anything else. Somehow it feels like it will be easier to keep a lid on it when there is actually a secret to keep.
Plus, who wants to stock up on tampons if you’re not going to need them for at least a year?
3. I’m already torn.
As someone who loves raising babies, but doesn’t love being pregnant, those two weeks of not knowing tend to be filled with equal parts hope and dread. I know I will be disappointed if my period arrives, but I am not looking forward to four months of unending nausea, followed by backaches, cankles and birth. Two weeks feels like a very long time to play out all the possible outcomes of a few fun nights in the sack. The “what ifs” can spiral quickly if you’re a worrier like me.
4. Guessing games.
The fact of the matter is, very early pregnancy and PMS are ridiculously similar: sore boobs, moodiness, exhaustion. These can all happen before a positive pregnancy test or a visit from Aunt Flow. Each little symptom leaves you guessing and hoping and just wanting to know already. Plus, who wants to stock up on tampons if you’re not going to need them for at least a year?
5. The waiting is the hardest part.
The struggle really comes down to needing to know now. It took forever to decide to try, now that my mind is made up I want to know if it’s going to happen. And I want to know as soon as possible. In theory, I understand that the best things are worth waiting for, but when it comes to knowing what’s going on inside my body I wish there was a simple way to know, immediately. Come on, science—catch up!
Thankfully, two weeks isn’t so long that it can be considered truly torturous. And at the end of that 14-day sentence, you either get great news, or the green light to drink a bottle of wine and celebrate the chance to live at least one more month puke-free.