Once I made the
switch from Blackberry to iPhone, it was like a part of me had been
awakened. Like I hadn’t been living life
to the fullest. Angry Birds instead of
Brickbreaker? An iPod in my phone? All the apps? Was it all that, or was it that I hadn’t been wasting time to the fullest?
Now that I have two kids, the iPhone is of
even greater value to me. Though I am
conscious of overuse and am careful to not neglect my kids in any way by being
on the phone, I do sometimes wish I’d never been introduced to this damn
thing. But, like I said before, I can’t
go back. That’s like going back to plain
M&M's when you know you could be eating pretzel M&M's.
My friends say, “You should try to parent without the phone
for a day and see what happens.” To
that, I say, “And while I’m at it, why don’t I also churn my own butter. Do I look like a pioneer?”
But then, in quiet moments, when I realize I’ve spent five minutes contemplating which Instagram filter to use on a picture of my kid’s milk
mustache, I do wonder, am I relying too much on my iPhone? And do I rely on it too much to parent? So I decide to pay special attention to what
my iPhone use looks like in a day.
6:30 a.m.—iPhone Alarm. My iPhone’s melodious alarm wakes me, if my toddler hasn’t
already. I hop (slowly roll with
accompanying groan) out of bed and go to wake my 11-year-old.
6:30 a.m.—Music App. I blast either “Who Let the Dogs Out” or George Michael’s
“Careless Whisper” not far from my son’s head to wake him.
6:45 a.m. I check my email on my iPhone. OK, and Facebook. And Instagram and Twitter.
7:00 a.m.—Notes App. “Need Milk, Coffee, Diapers” but not in that order.
8:00 a.m.—Camera. My 16-month-old daughter is eating her eggs in an exceptionally cute way. PHOTO OPP!
8:01 a.m. Then I Instagram that shit.
I video Stella picking her nose.
9:00 a.m.—FaceTime. My toddler, Stella, gets some face-to-face time with her grandparents. Both parties are thrilled. And it’s made very clear to me, when Stella reaches out to offer them a goldfish and then cries when they don’t take it, that she thinks her grandparents live inside the phone.
10:00 a.m.—Bejeweled. I sit down in the bathroom to enjoy a little “me time.” I pull out my phone to play Bejeweled for two minutes. I got two minutes of Bejeweled and “me time” in before the toddler is
heard screaming outside the door.
11:00 a.m.—Memory Game App. I play the memory game with Stella as we sit in her room and
wind down for her nap. We should really
only play one game, as she 1) has a 16-month-old attention span and 2) needs to
take a nap. But we end up playing three games because I have a gaming problem.
11:09 a.m.—Camera. I video Stella picking her nose. I email it to my parents right away.
11:10-2 p.m.—Email, Notes, Research and maybe one game of Bejeweled. I get some work in while Stella naps.
2:05 p.m.—Camera. Her bedhead needs to be memorialized.
3:00 p.m.—Google. I reluctantly Google “Mentos and Coke” as I gripe, “Isn’t
everyone and their dog going to be doing this for their science project?” In other words, I help my son work on his science
3:30 p.m.—Google. I Google how to get gum out of my toddler’s hair. I don’t know where she found the gum.
3:34 p.m.—Camera. Of course I need a pic of that.
4:00 p.m.—Recipe App. I peruse my recipe app to figure out what I can make with
the chicken in my fridge that is on the verge.
4:30 p.m.—Yelp. I decided the chicken was past the verge, so I Yelp a good
6:45 p.m.—Web MD App. We all feel slightly ill and wonder if the beef and broccoli was bad. I look at Web MD to see how soon
food poisoning sets in.
7:00 p.m.—YouTube. Stella and I watch our nightly Beyoncé music video as she
drinks her milk after her bath.