Our Privacy/Cookie Policy contains detailed information about the types of cookies & related technology on our site, and some ways to opt out. By using the site, you agree to the uses of cookies and other technology as outlined in our Policy, and to our Terms of Use.


Haiku: A Day With a Toddler

The experience of raising a toddler can be described in many ways. It’s amazing. It’s difficult. It’s crazy. It teaches you what it means to really love. And it tests your will to survive. Since the beginning of time, people have been expressing these types of profound emotions through the art of poetry. So instead of expressing how I feel through manic ramblings, pleas for help, or by just pointing to the bags under my eyes, here are a series of elegant haiku to describe a day with my toddler.

RELATED: The Haiku of Pregnancy

6:00 a.m.

Dreams of a white beach

Cut short by little fingers

Crammed up my nostrils

6:01 a.m.

Lie in bed thinking

What I would give to sleep in

Then I laugh and laugh

6:30 a.m.

So cute, her bed head

She’s sweet and warm and cuddly

This age is the best

7:00 a.m.

Her toast touched her grapes

And now she’s losing her sh**

This age is the worst.

7:30 a.m.

Sleep deprivation

Poured coffee in her sippy

She face palmed for me

9:00 a.m.

Wait. It’s 9 a.m.

I haven’t even showered

The window is gone

9:30 a.m.

Spent the last 30

Getting her in the carseat

Too early to drink?

10:00 a.m.

No childcare today

I take her to my meeting

With grapes on my butt

12:00 p.m.

Lunch play date at park

They brought quinoa and feta.

We ate Wonder Bread.

1:00 p.m.

Pull into Starbucks

Hear her snoring behind me

Hang head, drive away

1:30 p.m.

She wakes. HALF HOUR NAP?

Guess no working out at home.

Nope, no Hip Hop Abs.

2:00 p.m.

Calling for backup

Ain’t no shame in Peppa Pig.

For one hour, don’t judge.

3:00 p.m.

“You paint while mom works.”

Not one of my best ideas.

Goodbye leather chair.

4:00 p.m.

“Not this one! That one!”

“Pick me up, NO! put me down!”


5:00 p.m.

For the love of God

I don’t care how much you beg


6:00 p.m.

Here comes the airplane!

Here comes the spoon choo choo train!

Here comes, “Fine, don’t eat.”

6:30 p.m.

Post-dinner clean up

I ate pasta off the wall.

Wasn’t the first time.

7:00 p.m.

It’s time to get out

Ummm, is that poop in the tub?

Where is your father????

7:30 p.m.

I’ve read "Goodnight Moon"

Over 1300 times

The moon can sod off!

8:00 p.m.

No, you’re not thirsty

Your arm’s not broken either

Get your ass to bed!

8:30 p.m.

Don’t know what sleep’s like

Without a foot in my face

Won’t find out tonight.

RELATED: What to Say to a Mom of a Toddler

8:45 p.m.

But she’s so damn cute

And she just said “I yuv you”

This age is the best.

9:30 p.m.

Warm little exhale

Chubby legs slung over mine

I wouldn’t trade it

More from toddler