Aries: You'll need to be extra persistent
with your repetitions of "why" today—Mom's patience is in the
irritated house of Because I Said So.
Taurus: Your reunion with an old friend
will be bittersweet. Translation? You will be overjoyed to find your lost
Blankie—until you realize it went through the laundry and no longer smells
like saliva and dirt.
Gemini: Your mom will be too tired to take
you to the playground this afternoon; a descending attention span in your House
of Hyperactivity will inspire you to use the couch as a jungle gym instead.
Cancer: A stubborn ascendant in your third
house of Mischievousness means this isn't a good time for change; resist potty
training, making new friends at play dates and sampling slightly unfamiliar
Leo: Your generous nature knows no bounds;
you learned lots of four-letter words while Mommy was on the phone with the
plumber, so be sure to share them with all your preschool pals.
Virgo: Due to a total eclipse in your
normally virtuous fourth house of Listening, expect to ignore your parents
tonight while coming up with new and creative ways to avoid bedtime.
Libra: Take advantage of an exciting
opportunity to go to Grandma's soon; making ridiculous demands and following
Mom everywhere she goes might even convince her to arrange an overnight stay!
Scorpio: A full moon is descending in your
house of Outdoor Nudity; remove your clothing in public as much as possible and
enjoy the attention you so richly deserve.
Sagittarius: Using your words might not be
such a bad idea after all! Screaming "MINE!" is likely to produce
desirable results when you attempt to resolve an upcoming ownership dispute.
Capricorn: A fury as bright as a thousand
suns lodged in your first house of Tantrums will land you in a time out. Make
the best of your solitary confinement by decorating your face with marker.
Aquarius: Been waiting for the right time
to change your favorite food? Best to hold off for now; your mom will be
purchasing a Family Economy Size quantity of your current fave at the store
Pisces: Due to a retrograde planet in your
house of Helpfulness, your selfless offers to assist Mom in the kitchen will
probably end in tears (hers, not yours)—you'll be too busy licking chocolate
off the spoon to cry over (literal) spilled milk.