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5 Foolproof Cures for Baby Fever

Photograph by Twenty20

There are those among us who simply can’t get enough of the cuddly, cooing baby phase. No matter how many babies we have, once they become toddlers, we catch a serious case of baby fever. We suffer from a strange sort of amnesia, likely brought on by finally getting some sleep, that allows us to focus on all the adorableness and ignore the harsh reality of raising a tiny human. As someone who suffers from a chronic case of baby fever, I’ve devised a series of cures designed to remind us that it’s not all snuggles and tiny giggles.

1. Wake up, wake up, get up.

Want to really remember what it’s like to have a newborn in the house? Set your alarm to go off every two hours all night long. Each time it goes off, you realize you would be getting up, feeding and changing a crying infant.

2. Get a puppy.

Puppies are super cute and cuddly and a ton of work. They will remind you how hard potty training is and might just fill your unending need to care for tiny adorable creatures.

3. Go diaper shopping.

You know that aisle in Target that you no longer have to cruise down? Do yourself a favor and visit it with a calculator in hand. One pack of diapers isn’t too pricey, but two years worth of those things? Yikes! If you didn’t have another baby, you could start getting regular pedicures and still come out ahead in the budget.

Facebook memories is not your friend when you’re trying to convince yourself you’re done having babies.

4. Wash, dry, repeat.

With each load of laundry you are currently doing, imagine adding another. And not just any load, but one that needs every item spot treated for spit-up and diaper blowouts. When folding, imagine doubling your time spent to fold the ridiculous number of miniature items that fit in one load. Whatever you do, don’t reminisce about the adorableness of said miniature items.

5. Prevention is the best medicine.

Whatever you do don’t go through old baby stuff, especially old pictures of your “not a baby anymore” kid. Facebook memories is not your friend when you’re trying to convince yourself you’re done having babies. Just one image of a chubby-cheeked, toothless grin could remind you how worth it all the sleepless nights and piles of laundry truly are. And whatever you do, don’t hold any babies unless they are in the throes of colic. One sniff of that new baby smell and you run the risk of spiking a fever where the only cure is one more baby.

For some of us, the desire to have just one more baby is undeniably strong. And at the risk of being labeled an enabler, if all of these cures fail, having another baby might be the very best remedy of all.

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