I'm going to be honest here. I know I'm a good mom. I love my girls to death and I take good care of them. I teach them things about this beautiful world and let them learn and explore through some neat activities we do at home. But even when I know that I'm a good mom, I'm still not the mom I want to be.
Every single night, after they are asleep, I rehearse the day in my head. I think about the things I said and the things I did. I wonder what I could have done differently. I think about how I could have spoken to them in a different way. I pray for more patience and more love. I ask for new eyes and a new outlook. I give thanks that each day starts new.
The mom I wish I was never raises her voice. She certainly never yells or shows a temper. The mom I wish I was is always calm and collected, gentle and slow to anger.
The mom I wish I was doesn't spend too much time on her phone or her laptop. She doesn't say "I'm busy" or "not right now." The mom I wish I was always has time for her babies.
The mom I wish I was always lets her children help in the kitchen. She doesn't get frustrated when they spill the milk or get some eggshell in the batter.
The mom I wish I was gets down on the floor with her children. She wrestles with them and builds the tallest towers. The mom I wish I was doesn't do these things for just a few minutes at a time. No, she spends all day playing with her kids.
The mom I wish I was always listens. When her 2 year-old is sobbing because of a lost toy, she holds him close and understands his sadness. The mom I wish I was listens without distraction to her 4 year-old's grand story.
The mom I wish I was always lets her children help in the kitchen. She doesn't get frustrated when they spill the milk or get some eggshell in the batter. The mom I wish I was loves to have her little chefs with her.
The mom I wish I was doesn't complain about her day or seek sympathy for her job. She is grateful and humble and wouldn't change a thing. The mom I wish I was knows how fast this time goes.
The mom I wish I was always sees her children for how beautiful and amazing they are. She never sees them as something to "put up with" or "survive." The mom I wish I was raises her children to know just how wonderful they are.