Sure, first babies get all the attention, but second babies are
It's true, there is something magical and
special about your first child, but once you have your second, you realize that
all babies are magical and special. The
difference is that the second time around, you can actually enjoy it! You won't be able to solely
devote your time to your new arrival, but you will have the wisdom and hard-won
perspective to laugh at the hard days and cherish the easy ones.
With your second baby, you are so much more relaxed. You didn't kill the first
one, and you have a pretty decent grasp on what to expect. After witnessing your first child grow and
thrive because of (and in spite of) you, it is easier to enjoy each stage of
babyhood without worrying over every little thing. And you are much more prone to really soak up
each stage because you know, with an ache in your heart, just how quickly it will pass.
And that's another thing: Time passes so much
more quickly. With my first baby, I
remember watching the clock, bored out of my mind, just willing it to be time
for my husband to come home. With two
little ones to look after, there is literally no time to be bored. And sometimes they even entertain each
other! Giving my oldest son a little
brother was the best gift I ever gave myself.
Another wonderful thing about becoming a mom for the second
time? You're already a mom. You've made the huge life shift, you've
come to grips with your new identity, you've already got the
yoga pants, and you don't have to waste precious newborn
snuggles wondering if your single friends will still want to hang out. You've also already got the stretch marks
and sagging breasts. I found this fact
incredibly freeing; I actually enjoyed my pregnant body more the second time
around because I knew that a bikini body was a pretty cheap trade for having a
baby of my own.
But when you have your second child, people don't mess with you. It might just be because you give off the air of confidence you lacked with your first; after all, nosy do-gooders sense weakness.
But even better than already having stretch marks, is already
having all the gear. Baby No. 2 is
so much cheaper. And now you can feel as
though you're really getting your money's worth for that
pricey jumper you had to have for the two weeks of sanity it provided! You also know that most of the "essentials" are
actually "pointless," and you won't be falling into
that "wipe warmer" trap this time!
Not only do you know how to avoid the binge buying pitfalls, you also know how to avoid bad advice. With your
first baby, everyone and their grandmother wants to give you their two cents on
how you should be feeding, raising, educating, disciplining, and on and
on. And since you're new to the whole
thing, all that advice might get to you, needlessly adding to your worry and
self-doubt. But when you have your
second child, people don't mess with you. It might just be because you give off the air
of confidence you lacked with your first; after all, nosy do-gooders sense
weakness. They wouldn't
dare tell a woman with an infant securely strapped to her chest and a little
one pushing the tiny shopping cart how to handle motherhood, because clearly,
she's got this.
And the second time around, there's even more than
having the whole motherhood thing dialed in. There's the fact that you've
already got mama friends. Those single
friends who didn't end up wanting to hang out? No worries! By this time, any old friends that were going to stick around, have; and
in the meantime, you've made a new tribe of friends! It's not always easy to break into the
mom-friend world, but by the time your second one arrives, you likely have more
than a few friends who can totally relate to leaky boobs and poop
explosions. Having other women to
empathize with and lean on makes wrangling two kids so much more
And the very best part of all? Your love just keeps growing and growing. Even on those hard days, all that extra love
does a world of good. You can't
imagine loving anything as much as you love your first, and then you meet your
second. And you love them just as much,
and then you love your first for how much they love their sibling, and then you
love your husband extra for giving you another bundle of joy! And on and on. So if you're
on the fence about having a second little one, I say hop on over. Three's
a crowd, but four's a party. But be warned, you might enjoy No. 2 so
much that you start pining for No. 3!