Being a part of the mom blogging world, I see a lot of pieces with women complaining about something someone said or did to offend them. The breastfeeding mom is upset because a random lady asked her why she doesn’t just give her baby a bottle. The formula-feeding mom is upset because some blogger equated formula to poison. All pregnant women everywhere are offended when you ask them how far along they are and comment on how big their belly is. I mean, it’s never-ending. It seems like moms these days are so easily offended by any and every off-putting remark.
I get it, I’m a mom. I’ve been there. I’ve heard it all. I’ve had little old ladies come up to me and tell me I’m “way too young” to have kids. I’ve had random commenters on blog posts tell me I’m an unfit mother and that they feel sorry for my kids. I’ve had relatives look at me while I’ve been pregnant and say, “Wow, your face got fat.”
The thing is, I don’t care. If I got offended over every little thing someone told me I would spend a lot of time being really unhappy. And life is too short for that. Maybe it’s because I come from the Hispanic culture (we don’t have much of a filter), but over the years I’ve learned to let these comments roll right off of my back.
Let people say what they want to say. At the end of the day, you have to be confident in your own decisions.
That’s why when I see yet another mommy blogger complaining about how people should never say this or that, I just have to roll my eyes a little bit. I really think moms today are just wee bit oversensitive.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I decided that I wanted to have a home birth. At the time I didn’t personally know anyone else who had ever attempted this before. My family was less than enthused about my decision. They asked all kinds of crazy questions. To be honest, a lot of the stuff they said could have been really offensive. I admit that I was beginning to get annoyed, especially when I discovered that a family member was discussing my home birth decision with her ob-gyn. I mean, what the hell? What does this doctor know about my pregnancy? He didn’t know if I was low-risk or high-risk. He didn’t know if my baby was growing normally. He didn’t know anything about my pregnancy at all. So what was his opinion on my decision going to matter? Didn’t anyone trust that I was smart enough to make my own decisions about my own birth?! I was indignant!
But then I realized something important. People question what they do not understand. In the case of my home birth (which turned out beautifully by the way), many people have been misinformed on the safety of it. I found that once I took the time to patiently explain and answer questions about the whole process people were much more open to the idea. I don’t think most people are purposely trying to offend you and whatever parenting choices you make. I think people just don’t understand and have foot-in-mouth syndrome.
So let’s all stop being so oversensitive. Let people say what they want to say. At the end of the day, you have to be confident in your own decisions. And when you are, other people’s opinions just won’t matter as much.