There are many very important decisions to be made when you
decide to have children. Sure there are the very major decisions, such as do you
have a natural birth or get an epidural, breastfeed or bottle-feed, let the
baby cry it out or co-sleep? But there are also the everyday decisions, important
choices I find myself having to make, and some days they just may determine
whether I stay afloat or drown. It’s like I'm performing parenting triage on
a daily basis.
I can either undo the top knot that has been sitting on the
top of my head for the past 30 hours and work shampoo through my mangled mane, or I can work soft soap and a sponge through the beef stroganoff grime sitting
on the stovetop while the little one takes her mid-morning
2. Shave my legs or wax my mustache?
I’m either Burt Reynolds on top or Burt Reynolds on bottom.
Perhaps not an everyday choice, but when the time does come
to wax the Lorax stache, there is a time allocation decision to be made. It’s
either hair-free legs or hair-free lips. There is really scarcely a time, these
days, where it all syncs up and I’m a completely hairless cat. I’m either Burt
Reynolds on top or Burt Reynolds on bottom.
3. Do I give my toddler an actual bath or just wipe
her down with wipes?
Some nights, time gets away from me. And so does energy. Add
an unwilling toddler who proceeds to sweep your leg every time you utter the
word “bath” and well, the decision’s pretty much been made. Wipe down.
5. Have lunch at a trendy lunch spot with your
girlfriends or sit alone at home and eat a sandwich while you read a magazine?
Do you socialize and catch up with friends or hideout like a hermit?
Alone time is a hot commodity when you are a mother of a
small child. So, the decision does have to be made. Do you socialize and catch
up with friends or hideout like a hermit eating Cheetoh puffs and a half-thawed
Uncrustables off of a paper plate on your bed while you read a recent-ish issue
of US Weekly?
6. Make her eat her veggies or not get kicked in
Some days, you get kicked in the face. Other days, you let
her eat Teddy Grahams and bread for dinner.
7. Change her food-splattered shirt before you go
to the park or just let it ride?
Some days, the ghost of the perfectionist who used to exist
pre-kid shows up and wins, and I change my toddler’s outfit three to four times a day.
But other days, my daughter spends the day looking like she’s just done a color
run, but instead of being covered in brightly colored paint, she’s covered in
ketchup, marker and dirt (and hopefully not fecal material).
8. Sleep in a toddler-size bed with my 2-year-old
or put my 2-year-old in my bed?
Let’s face it, we’re sleeping together no matter what, so the
question is, in what environment do I choose to get a really crappy night’s
9. Let her have my phone or my computer?
When there’s just nothing else to tame the beast, an
important decision must be made: Which device do I give her? Some days it’s
phone, where I run the risk of her making several Facetime calls to her cousins
in London. Other days, it’s the computer, where I run the risk of finger-painted
spit “Olafs” on my screen or coins in my SD drive.