I literally (don't you hate how overused that word is?) sat down to write this post about Bo's RED LETTER WEEK of potty pooping (at home! not in a gas station!) and I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING, before I could even finish the title (which was originally, "one down, one to go") Revi asked for a diaper to poop in and then Bo insisted on joining her.
"But Bo! The last six days you have pooped SOLELY on the potty!"
"Yes I know but I want a diaper like Revi!"
"BUT WHY? THAT SHIT SHIP HAS SAILED!"
"Huh? What ship? What do you mean?"
I wanted to cry. But, I handed her the diaper.
"Mom. It's OK. I'll poop on the potty tomorrow, OK?"
But let's back up. Earlier this week, out of nowhere, Bo told me she was done with diapers.
"Awesome! I'm so glad to hear that! I am so proud of you!" said I. We high-fived. And then we high-tenned. Then we put on some Sia and danced. Then, sure enough, several hours later, Bo screamed from the bathroom the words that every parent longs to hear: "MAMA! I POOPED ON THE POTTY! COME SEE MY POOP! POOOOOOOOOP!"
And she did. She pooped! It was glorious. We high-fived yet again. Then we high-tenned and called for Revi who came running. Oh, how we jumped—up and down and all around. Then, in all our excitement I was, like, "Revi's turn!" and the record IMMEDIATELY screeched to a stop, and Revi, with the most serious face of all time, turned to me and said "NO."
"But! Bo just pooped on the potty and look how stoked we all are! Don't you want to join her?"
"Wait. What do you mean?"
"I am going to poop in a diaper until I'm five!" Revi growled, crossing her arms across her chest and storming off down the hall.
Bo had left her in the lurch. She had broken up the band. Ditched her for a better science partner.
And Revi was PISSED. And hurt. I suddenly felt sad. And bad. And a little bit rad. (I was still riding the "my kid just pooped on the potty" high after all.)
Bo shrugged. "Well. I guess it's just going to be me, then," she said, hands on hips.
Girlfriend was PROUD.
And so was I.
But also torn because, well, it's hard having two kids the exact same age experiencing milestones separately. I felt the same way when Bo walked first. Like, if I applaud her, does that make Revi feel like I'm not just as proud as her?And when Revi comes home with a gift a friend has given her and Bo does not have a gift, can I be happy for Revi's gift without wondering why Bo doesn't have one? And so on.
This is a specific twin issue that I have struggled with since the girls were babies. How do I applaud one without making the other feel like she isn't measuring up? Bo and Revi have very different strengths and weaknesses and it can be a tricky thing to navigate.