I fell in love with pregnancy and birth before I had even conceived my first child. I watched the Ricki Lake documentary, "The Business of Being Born," and it opened up my eyes to a whole new way of giving birth. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew immediately I wanted a very hands-off pregnancy with a natural birth. I saw a midwife instead of an OB and had a very stress-free experience. I always felt empowered and in control, even when I had a home birth with my second child and she came out breeched. I've been able to have very normal non-invasive pregnancies, and I'm so thankful!
Now I'm preparing for a surrogacy pregnancy and it's already so different from my past experiences. I've been seeing a fertility doctor who has already seen more of me than I think my husband has (I know, I'm sorry). And after I become pregnant, if the transfer goes according to plan, I'll be stepping foot into an OB office for the first time. There are expectations for me to do all the tests and ultrasounds and give birth in a hospital. I've never had to work so hard to get pregnant and then stay pregnant.
Maybe going through this experience will teach me that it's okay to do things differently.
It makes me a little nervous that I'm going to have a whole different experience this time around. With my own kids I could do whatever I felt was right for my body and my baby. This time I am working with a couple (an amazing couple by the way) and I need to let them make the ultimate decisions regarding their baby. So that means getting as many ultrasounds as they deem necessary, drinking that nasty orange drink, and getting regular cervix checks.
I'm most nervous about giving birth at one of the local hospitals. I'm a little weary of the hospital environment and don't want to be forced into unneeded interventions (please no C-section!). I'm so used to being free to do my own thing that I don't want to feel restricted. But at the end of the day I need to trust the process and trust that my body will do what it needs to do. I'm on the hunt for the most natural-friendly, easy-going OB practice I can find.
I have also been noticing that the hospitals around here are making changes. I was able to watch one of my good friends give birth and was very impressed with how everything went. It was definitely a better vibe than I was anticipating. So maybe the fear is just all in my head. Maybe going through this experience will teach me that it's okay to do things differently. I'm just excited that I will be able to give the most precious gift to a well-deserving couple. I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they get to hold their beautiful bundle for the very first time. It will all be worth it in that moment.