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And Then I Fell in Love ...

I didn't want to buy a minivan. I spent many a year rolling my eyes at the prospect of ever driving one. Perhaps it was because MY mom drove a minivan—a Toyota Previa—that she bought in the early '90s and still runs, 5,678,798,797,897 miles later. (You do have to get in through the trunk because the sliding door AND the passenger door no longer open.)

I learned to drive in/on/with this minivan and, frankly, all these years later, have nothing but love for ye olde rustic WendyWoolfmobile.

Still, it took a twin pregnancy to convince me that a minivan was in order. So, kicking and screaming, we went to a dealership two weeks before the twins were born and traded my wagon in for a van. And I never looked back.

Like, ever.

Do you want to know why? Because it was AMAZING. It was more amazing than my Cabriolet convertible I drove out of the driveway and promptly crashed on my 16th birthday. It was more amazing than my silver Jetta with its vanity plate and matching rims. It dwarfed my affection for my green Passat wagon with its heated seats. I was in love.

That was nearly four years ago, and I have since made it my mission to convert the minivan haters in my life.

"Hey, guys. Get a load of these cup holders."

"DUDE. School drop-offs in the mornings? So easy."


"What was that? You want to chill a piece of string cheese while en route to the beach? WELL THEN ..."

"And don't even get me STARTED on the safety features, you guys."

Anyway, now I kind of feel the same way about family resorts, because after years of being like OH HELL NO, we decided to scope one out in Palm Springs in celebration of Archer's 10th. And? It was awesome.

Overpriced, sure. But awesome.

Traveling has always been FUN but also kind of ... well, exhausting, wrangly and overwhelming. But this past weekend was not like that. Nobody complained. Everyone was happy. There were water slides and lazy rivers and pools full of loud children and splashing adults—meaning the kids were in HEAVEN and we didn't have to stress about noise/accidentally cannonballing on a stranger's head. (Because everyone was accidentally cannonballing on stranger's heads.)

Hell! I had someone dive straight into my face on the lazy river and we ended up high-fiving afterward.


It was, though, because EVERYONE was happy. The kids were happy so the parents were happy and the lifeguards were—I mean, I've never in my life seen so many lifeguards. I counted 4,219 of them—not even kidding. Which is NEVER the case on non-child-friendly vacations. We're lucky if there's a lifeguard on duty at all.

I was not expecting to be such a fan. I was not expecting my kids to think our weekend in Palm Springs at Splashtopia was the greatest thing that had ever happened to them.

And now that we've done it?

"You guys, you would not BELIEVE the lifeguard-to-child ratio."

"See this tan? I actually reclined my body for several moments!"

"And don't even get me started on the lazy river. It was THE LAZIEST!"

"And the gift shop? I mean, you should see the goggles Fable procured. They're covered in sprinkles!"

"Desert sunsets are spiritual."

And so on.

All of this to say, we had a great time. And now I'm super on-board with the whole family resort thing. I want to drive my minivan to every family resort in the world, high-five all the lifeguards and straight-up chill.

So, tell me: Do you guys do family resorts? TELL ME ABOUT ALL OF THEM. WHERE ARE THEY LOCATED? DO THEY HAVE WATER SLIDES? CUP HOLDERS? Thank you very much in advance.

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