This day and age, it seems that women are fighting about everything. We argue about the best way to feed a baby, how to raise a child, whether we should dye our hair or not, what kind of role we should play in our marriage, strollers vs. baby carriers, which diets work and which ones don't, etc. It's exhausting. And from all of this, it seems that all women have one thing in common: not being enough.
We are told this lie from a young age and soon, the little voice inside our head starts to sing it, too...
No matter what, we can't seem to win. And to make up for all the ways we fall short, we start vomiting apologies like we've got the plague. Everywhere I turn, I hear women saying sorry for things that they don't need to apologize for. I hear women making excuses for themselves, when they don't need one. I hear women telling themselves, through saying sorry to others, that they are not enough.
I'm guilty of it, too. I am. But I'm working on it. I'm acutely aware of all the ways I dismiss the real me in favor of someone everyone wants. And as a mother of three girls, I'm trying my hardest to stop apologizing for every little thing, so that they don't grow up with this same disease.
I'm acutely aware of all the ways I dismiss the real me in favor of someone everyone wants.
Ladies, here are 13 things you need to stop apologizing for, NOW:
1. What You Ate - Whether you ate an entire package of Oreos or a massaged kale salad, you do not need to apologize for it. You are capable of making decisions for your body. You are allowed to eat Oreos or a cheeseburger or "something that a man would order."
2. How You Look - Haven't we all been there! We apologize for looking like crap, for being too dressed up, for wearing no make-up, for wearing too much make-up, for not shaving our legs, etc. etc. It's exhausting.
3. Your House - Chances are, you live in a house. Meaning, there's going to be stuff everywhere. And if you have kids, there's going to be even more stuff. Stop apologizing when your house doesn't look like the Pottery Barn catalogue. No one's does.
4. Having Feelings - Our trademark as women is being "too emotional." But emotion is a good thing. You are allowed to think and to feel. You are allowed to be infectiously happy. You are allowed to have a bad day and cry. You are allowed to be furious and drop a few F-bombs every now and then.
5. Bodily Functions - Guess what? Women have periods. They pee and poop and pass gas, too. Let's stop acting like women don't have bowel movements or that's it's only funny when a man farts.
6. Loving Your Job - Stop minimizing the things you enjoy! If you enjoy your career, that is great! You shouldn't have to hide it or apologize for it just because people around you are miserable.
7. Throwing a Good Party - How many times have you downplayed your kid's kick-ass birthday party that you threw?! Stop that! Just because some people don't go all out, doesn't mean you need to apologize or feel bad for doing it.
8. Being a Creative Mom - If homemade play dough and sidewalk paint, sensory bins and science experiments are your thing, do them! Don't make excuses for getting creative!
9. Your Body - Stop apologizing for your own flesh and blood. Your body is yours. Don't diminish your own unique beauty just because it doesn't necessarily measure up to the unrealistic expectations the world has put on you.
10. Choices You Made - How many times have you said sorry for things that you blatantly chose - marrying young, starting a family, choosing not to have kids, moving away, living an unconventional life - these things are part of who you are!
11. Being Yourself - Are you loud? Funny? Shy? Quiet? Smart? Witty? Stylish? Edgy? Nervous? Athletic? Articulate? Cultured? Enthusiastic? Organized? Romantic? BE THOSE THINGS. That's what makes you, YOU.
12. Asking Questions - Never apologize for asking questions or not pretending to know it all. It is okay to ask for help.
13. Saying Sorry - Yep, we even apologize for apologizing. Which proves even more that we need to stop saying sorry so much. Live your life. Respect others. Be who you are.