One of the ultimate cliches of having children is that once you do, you lose all of your friends that don't. You assume that if you aren't in the same life situation, you no longer have anything in common. Your friendship has no substance. And what a sad thing that is—for both parties. True, having children changes things a bit, but those friendships are every bit as valuable now that you've got kids.
I got married and had children young, much sooner than the majority of my friends. Some of my single friends didn't consider our relationship important any longer, assuming my husband and children were all I needed. Others leaned in and embraced my family with open arms. Thank God for them. If you are without children, please know that your friends with kids need you. We need you and we are so grateful to have you in our lives. And here's just eight ways we'd love for you to get involved with our families:
Celebrate with us! If we just had a baby or if our daughter is turning 5, we want you to celebrate with us! Don't feel like you can't come around just because you don't have kids of your own.
Love on our kids! There is nothing sweeter than seeing my friends love on my girls. Whether they shower them with hugs or play "wrestle" during a dinner party, it means so much when my friends take some time to show my kids some attention.
Give us some notice! It is true that going out is harder to do with kids in the picture. It doesn't mean we don't want to, it just means we need a couple of weeks to plan. Last minute fun nights out are hard when you have to find a babysitter!
Ask us about our family! One of our very dear friends has never once asked us about our girls. Of course, they are a HUGE part of our life. It hurts a little bit when you can tell someone isn't interested in your family.
But ask us about other stuff too! Just because I'm a mom now, doesn't mean I have lost every other part of me. Let's talk about anything and everything under the sun! (Just like the good ol' days!)
Tell us about your life! I have friends who assume I don't want to hear about their life since they don't have kids. Quite the opposite, in fact! I care about them and want to know everything!
Don't make fun of us. One of the hardest parts of parenthood is being mocked by people who don't have kids. Parenting is so hard and we don't need to add insult to injury!
Grace all around. As you can imagine, parenting is exhausting and often leaves us a tad harried and absent-minded. Please give us grace when we don't return texts immediately or have to bail because a kiddo barfed on the way out the door.