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8 Things Only a Mom Potty Training Her Kid Would Do

Photograph by Twenty20

I think we can all agree that there's nothing glamorous about potty training. Besides the obvious ick factor, all the “potty lingo” is enough to make you want to let your kid wear diapers for the rest of their life. The whole process makes us moms a little crazy (potty dance, anyone?) and causes us to do things we didn’t think we'd ever do, like:

1. Spending hours on Pinterest searching for potty training reward charts, then spending a ridiculous amount of money on stickers and new underwear.

So what if I just spent $50 on "Moana"-themed underwear? All the potty training books suggest reward charts and new underwear will get your kid excited about potty training. They’re living a comfortable life in their diaper—never needing to stop what they’re doing to use the bathroom. So, it's understandable why moms invest time and money to cajole their young one to give up their diapers.

2. Bringing a portable potty wherever you go.

Your new must-have an item is a portable potty which you bring any time you leave your house with your kid. I bet you never thought you would want to carry around a potty seat before you had kids. And let's just not think about what happens if your kid has to go No. 2 on-the-go in there. BARF.

3. Mapping out all the public restrooms within a 10-mile radius.

You quickly learn that when your kid tells you they need to use the bathroom, they mean RIGHT NOW. There's not a minute to spare to figure out where the restroom is located, unless you want a sopping wet car seat.

The automatic flush sensors in public restrooms are a potty training parent’s worst nightmare.

4. Cleaning the public restroom as if you were getting paid to do it.

Toddlers love touching anything you don’t want them touching in a public restroom. For the love of god, why is that sanitary napkin bin so close to their eye level?! And, when they inevitably touch something, you envision the germs multiplying on your kid’s hands and ending up in their mouths. So, you end up pulling out your gallon-size antibacterial wipes, cleaning everything in sight, practically giving your kid a shower in the process. Oh, the joys of motherhood.

5. Bringing Post-It notes to cover the automatic flush sensor.

The automatic flush sensors in public restrooms are a potty training parent’s worst nightmare. Every time these high-tech toilets flush automatically, it scares your kid to the point they would never want to attempt using it again. The best way to prevent this situation is to put a Post-It note over the sensor. You're welcome.

6. Bringing an entire suitcase of clothes to prepare for “the accident.”

In order to prepare for the inevitable accident, you pack a wardrobe of clothes. What if they have more than one accident? You just never know, so you pack it all.

7. Refusing to leave the house because you’re tired and can’t use another public restroom.

Potty training is exhausting. Leaving the house involves toting a toilet seat, antibacterial wipes, Post-It notes and a suitcase filled with clothes. It’s so much easier to stay home.

8. Celebrate Like You Won the Lottery When Your Child Actually Uses the Potty

When your kid finally uses the potty, you find yourself jumping up and down, and screaming as if you just won the lottery. Because in a sense you have: the freedom to leave the house again.

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