A few weeks ago, Time magazine ran a slideshow on their website titled "38 Nutrition Experts on What They Eat for Breakfast." The piece caught my eye, mainly because I eat three cups of coffee for breakfast, a practice both my primary care physician and my mother frown upon. I wondered if the experts might have some tips on how I could up my game, so I began to click through.
The first expert, Marisa Moore, MBA, RDN, LD mentioned that she ate eggs with avocado and salsa in a soft corn tortilla. She mentioned the antioxidants in the avocado, which I did not give a crap about, but I do love avocados. This is so helpful, I thought to myself.
The second expert mentioned, among other things, "three to six chopped whole almonds," which I thought was a bit fussy, but I decided to soldier on anyway.
After that, I wondered: what are actual mothers eating? Are they all, like me, foregoing their own breakfasts in order to semi-consciously feed their children? Or do they actually have their shit together? So I decided to ask them.
And the answer?
First, there are the mothers eating your basic, simple breakfast (which is more than I can say for myself):
"Cereal with almond milk and a cup of half-caff. I need the caffeine, but not the anxious feeling too much caffeine can give me." - Kristy Lawton, mother of one of the most adorable children on earth
"Cheerios with soy milk and blueberries." - Brette Sember
"First thing upon waking a cup of water with fresh squeezed lemon (on an empty stomach) then 2 cups of coffee, 2 eggs and rye toast." - Stacey Myers-Smith
"Coffee and Greek yogurt." - Heather Primm Salameh
"3 cups of coffee & usually a Nutri-Grain bar during the week, bagel or eggs on the weekend!" -Andrea Sap
"Oatmeal + peanut butter and half a banana ... lots and lots of coffee." - Adaeze Esiobu
"Cold cereal or toast with jelly or an English muffin. And coffee, obviously." - Sarah Johnson Perry
"A granola bar and orange juice. I eat yogurt sometimes too." - Diane Jansson
"Breakfast part 1: coffee, plain cake donut; part 2: mango smoothie (after the kids were up and I could use the blender safely)." - Aimee Ogden
Then there was a smaller group of moms in my circle of friends and acquaintances who were more of the grab-and-go sort:
"A cup of coffee with sugar and cream. Half an orange and apple, handful of pretzels and peanut butter off a knife. When I get get to my classroom I drink a pint of green tea." - Liz Kinney Primm
"Protein bar & cold, I mean 'iced' coffee." - Bryndis Davis
"Anything fast! Getting my toddler and me out of the house on time usually involves me grabbing a Kind Bar on the run... Or if I have some time a protein shake in my shaker bottle (ain't nobody got time to bust out a blender, or clean it for that matter)! Sometimes, to be completely honest, I just grab a latte on my way to work." - Christa Manneback Scott
Then things took a turn for the crazy. Or rather, the impressively healthy:
"I always start my day with coffee! For breakfast I'll either have avocado toast with cayenne, a smoothie (banana, frozen berries, flax, chia, turmeric, cinnamon, spinach, soy milk), tonight I might make overnight oats with apples and cinnamon for tomorrow's breakfast. In the past I have made awesome homemade granola bars which is an easy quick grab breakfast with a piece of fruit." - Kerry Flynn
Sometimes, to be completely honest, I just grab a latte on my way to work.
This response made me think that perhaps she was one of the nutrition experts having gone undercover to troll me, but I know her and she's lovely so all I can really do it sit back and sip my (third) coffee and be in awe of her. And it turns out I also have other friends who are far healthier than me:
"Coffee with coconut oil, which immediately cured all my ailments, made me clear-thinking and happy, and gave me endless energy for days. Plus I immediately dropped 5 pounds of belly fat. It literally fell on the floor after I took one sip." - Gillian McGarvey
"Overnight oats: oats with almond milk, chia seeds, raisins, walnuts, a boat load of cinnamon, a dash of unsweetened coconut and occasionally a splash of cocoa powder. In the morning after I heat them up I mix in a whole banana that has been thinly sliced into 1000 pieces. It's so good." -Heather Devine-Hansen
Who are these people?
"Coffee....sometimes a meal replacement when in a rush. Egg whites, and turkey bacon with wheat toast or oatmeal mixed with PBFit...yummms." - Raquel Rodriguez
"Fast and easy is key, so usually yogurt with some granola. Sometimes I will have a "muffin egg" with Bridget. We make eggs with veggies, cheese and sometimes a meat in muffin tins and then I can pull them out of the fridge and heat 'em up quickly in the morning for Bridget before the race to school and work." - Beth Leahy
I am so impressed by this and might steal this idea.
"I love Kodiak Cakes Power Protein Pancakes with a little real syrup and a banana. Also, Greek yogurt with berries and granola." - Susie Mae
"I have an egg over easy with home made salsa , cranberry juice and decaf coffee." - Claire Catanese
Clearly all of these people are Doing It Better Than Me.
The next category of mom was one I related to—the moms who just pick off their children's plates. Observe:
"Two cups of coffee and yogurt. Normally, I share my yogurt with Connor." - Gina Mace
"It's coffee, coffee, then maybe one more coffee. Sometimes when I'm heating up leftovers to put in Maggie's lunch thermos I eat a few bites of that. So two spoonfuls of vegan chili. Or a quinoa thing. And I lick the knife if I make Shannon a PB & J for lunch."- Kim Stevens-Redstone
"First I take my medicine. Then I brew a liter of Irish breakfast tea. Then I drink that tea with copious amounts of sugar until I feel like a human being. Once an hour has passed, and I can eat, it's usually a quick bowl of cereal. This morning it was Rice Krispies, most of which I had to share with Elijah." - Theresa Batsford-Beiner
In the category of gross, my lovely editor admitted that she "had one bite of my kids' rubbery cold eggs before deeming them beneath me, and then, coffee."