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Enough With The Fake Holidays

Photograph by Twenty20

It all started innocently enough, with things like Pi Day and Talk Like A Parrot Day, but it has gotten completely out of control. They pop up in your news feeds and clutter the calendar. There are whole websites devoted to keeping track of these minor holidays, there are often several each day. You can almost always find an excuse to take a break from your diet, buy something, or act crazy. The fake holiday phenomenon makes me wonder, if everyday is a celebration, what makes actual holidays special?

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Does a country that struggles with obesity and type II diabetes really need more than one National Donut Day? July is an especially rough month with Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day and Stay Out of The Sun Day closely followed by Bikini Day. I know I want to hop in a two-piece after overindulging in ice cream and making sure I don't have a tan. Thankfully, the following two days are Fried Chicken Day and Chocolate Day respectively. By August that bikini will be long forgotten.

There are also myriad of days that make you feel obligated to shop, or at the very least publicly declare your love. Take Mother-In-Law Day, I don't have anything against mother-in- laws, I hope to be one some day, but they do not need their own day. Isn't Mother's Day enough? Then there's Best Friend Day, hurting feelings on social media since 2010.

The whole thing just feels so forced and insincere—it's like Hallmark holidays on steroids, or massive doses of sugar.

Have you heard of Boss' Day? It's an actual thing with greeting cards and everything. This madness has got to stop. I am all for showing appreciation for the people who make a difference in your life, but I'm pretty sure that "thank you" loses some meaning when daysoftheyear.com told you to send it.

The whole thing just feels so forced and insincere—it's like Hallmark holidays on steroids, or massive doses of sugar. Not only does it take away from the specialness of real holidays, ones steeped in history and tradition, it also feels like an affront to the magic of the simple, ordinary day. As if to say Thursday isn't good enough, it requires more.

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I wish to celebrate the magic of simple everyday pleasures, not because someone with Internet access declared I should, but because serendipity brought them to the forefront. I intend to celebrate Best Friend Day when we get an unexpected chance to catch up, and Pie Day when my neighbor gifts me a bushel of apples. And so I declare my own celebration, the end of the hashtag holiday!

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