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What Your Toddler's Behavior Reveals to You About Their Future

Photograph by Twenty20

Parents spend a lot of time wringing their hands over what their toddlers are doing and how one bad trait will likely lead to a future on the run from the law. But how will these kids really turn out? Lucky for you, I've looked into the futures of these toddlers to see what kind of adults they really end up becoming.

Rowan, 2: Regularly settles playground disputes by biting, causing his parents to worry that he will one day end up living in a crack den.

What happens: By age 35, will live in a house with a very lovely den in it.

Skye, 1: Has never ingested a drop of formula.

What happens: Will spend four years at a state school drinking extra-large blue raspberry Slurpees at least once a week

Alexis, 1 1/2: Can read all the letters of the alphabet.

What happens: As an adult, will read one book and 20,765 Facebook posts each year.

Liam, 3: Identified as gifted and talented in pre-K.

What happens: Will place third in a seventh-grade talent show after performing an impressive lip-sync routine to a Justin Bieber song.

Angela, 1: Only knows one word—“bird”—on her first birthday.

What happens: Will learn her 45,000th word—"ornithophobia”—on her 20th birthday.

Emily, 3: Still uses a pacifier, which is slightly pushing out her front two teeth.

What happens: Will crash her bike at age 5 and slightly push in her two front teeth.

Boone, 2: Never fights getting into the bath.

What happens: Won’t fight getting into a career reviewing legal documents for large purchases of cement.

Marley, 2: Spends his first and only preschool violin lesson sitting in the corner, refusing to participate because his shoes feel wrong.

What happens: Will invent the world's smallest violin and play it barefoot in YouTube videos. Each video will be dedicated to parents whose kids only complete 9,000 hours of musical instrument practice.

Hayden, 1 1/2: Spends most of a cross-country flight flailing and squawking on her parent’s lap, making it hard for Mark Zuckerberg, who is seated in front of her, to fully enjoy his book.

What happens: One day in the future, Hayden will perform Zuckerberg's emergency gallbladder surgery.

Declan, 3: Refused to potty train by age 3.

What happened: Potty trained by age 4.

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