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5 Ways Going to a Party School Prepared Me For Kids

Photograph by Twenty20/@mariannadiff

I went to college at a wonderful university. It was well known as a good school with great parties. And I can attest, there was no shortage of fun. I learned a lot in those four years. In class I learned how to analyze statistics and compare ancient literature, but at those parties I ended up learning how to be a better mom. Going to a party school prepared me for having kids better than most other life experiences.

Because let's face it, there's not a huge difference between a toddler and a drunk person.

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Sleep Studies. When you live on a street well-known for keggers, people bring their own cups and being woken up in the middle of the night by screaming, crying, or both, is a fairly common occurrence. When my son was born I was already used to losing sleep—not just pulling random all-nighters to study, but being frequently woken up at all hours but boisterous drunks.

Driver's Ed. Singing, asking for snacks, shouting for no apparent reason, these are the traits of two kinds of passengers: your drunk friends or your kids. Occasionally volunteering to be designated driver had an awesome perk I wouldn't discover until years later—I am now an expert at handling the road, even if the back of my car is packed with wild things.

The kitchen in a house full of roommates who love to go out and that of a house full of small children is surprisingly similar

Culinary Arts. The kitchen in a house full of roommates who love to go out and that of a house full of small children is surprisingly similar. They both eat all your food and get half of it on the floor. They also both have an affinity for anything containing white carbs and cheese. I can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

Janitorial Services. When you host many college parties you get really good at cleaning up other peoples's messes. I can get sticky stuff off of any surface and make a pretty huge dent in a destroyed room with 10 minutes and a Hefty bag. Who says college never taught them anything?

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Positive Psychology. When I went to school I was a pretty uptight overachiever. I graduated with honors, but more importantly with a deeper understanding of how to enjoy life. I learned to be goofy, have fun, and not take myself too seriously. As I dance around my living room with a couple of crazy half-dressed dudes I just have to laugh, who would have thought college would do such a perfect job preparing me for this?

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